Undeclared
Review By: Joe

So I just moved into college and I happen to live in a coed dorm. Granted, there aren't girls living right next door to me or anything as the hall I'm in has the guys and the opposite hall has the girls but I think it still qualifies as coed as we're only divided by one door. Coincidentally enough, Fox is coming out with a show titled Undeclared that is about, you guessed it, life in a coed dorm. Well, well! I must be pleased to see my own life reflected back to me on the television screen, hmm? Oddly enough, I'm not!

Here's the thing, kids. I haven't seen Undeclared. I'm not sure it's even out yet but I'm not planning on watching it anyway. However, the selling point of this show (as with pretty much every show on Fox and every other network ever) from what I've seen in the commercials appears to be hot chicks. Hot chicks having lots of sex...with the other guys in the dorm. The chicks also walk around in sexy, skimpy underwear and provide eye candy for the audience as well as drooling dorky kids who live in the dorm. It looks to me like the show probably has the women walking through the hall in their lingerie and happening past males and going "Since I'm here already! And am severely lacking in clothing! Might as well!" Then there is sex. Yeah...that's pretty accurate.

Now here's why I hate this show already. One, I see hot girls around here in the halls...but they aren't in their underwear. Two, all that sex those girls are providing the males in the show? I haven't seen one nickel of it. Am I just a bitter loser who can't get laid? Undoubtedly. But I still think that makes me eligible to bitch, no? If you think not, you're probably a college guy in a dorm watching mostly-nude hot women parade around (although even the dorks get that privilege in the show) and selecting whichever ones you want for sexual pleasure one by one (Or two by two! Or eight by eight!). I am writing this review for dorks like myself. I am full of bitter frustration and Undeclared mocks me with its every advertisement. I can only imagine the chaos that will be unleashed when the show actually premieres (unless it has already, as I said, I don't know).

This show can go to hell and die. Until I start seeing some action and some underwear-clad females prancing around here, I will dislike this show. Even if and when that occurs, I'll probably dislike it because sitcoms are the type of things that characteristically suck. You know, like fan fiction. If there are any women who would like to come over here and walk back and forth in their underwear for me, that's fine with me. Otherwise, fuck you. Such anger. Hmm, this paragraph would look more fleshed-out if I filled up a bit more space. Oh, I know! Screw Flanders.


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