Stuff You Should Be Watching - Part II
Review By: Joe

THIS IS A TWO PART THING BECAUSE MR. GRINGO IS A SMARTHEAD AND SAID HE WANTS IT IN TWO PARTS BECAUSE I WRITE TOO MUCH :-((( SO THIS IS PART 2!!!! RIGHT HERE!!!

STUFF THAT IS GOOD BUT I WILL NOT KILL YOUR MOTHER IF YOU DO NOT WATCH IT ALL THE TIME

These are shows that are also good but not ones that it would kill me to miss. Most of these are on Cartoon Network. So sue me. And bring me pink lemonade!!

Insomniac
Airs Wednesdays at 10:30 PM EST on Comedy Central

This show is lots o' fun. It follows the exploits of comedian Dave Attell as he explores the night life of cities after dark (obviously after dark if it's the night life, stupid). He does a different city each week. This show has an original idea, Dave is genuinely funny, and it's actually pretty interesting when not humorous. This is a fun little diversion and I would suggest checking it out especially since it's now on after South Park which you will all be watching religiously now, right? RIGHT???

The Daily Show with Jon Stewart
Airs Weekdays at 11 PM EST and 7:30 PM EST on Comedy Central

Even after my terrible experience with Jon Stewart, I still find this show really funny and really witty. More Dubya jokes than you can shake a pretzel at!! And Lewis Black is a fucking genius. A FUCKING genius, mind you. It's amazing to me that this show is pretty popular and yet our country is still so stupid. HOW CAN THIS BE!??

Dexter's Laboratory, The Powerpuff Girls, Samurai Jack
Airs at various times on Cartoon Network whenever the fuck fucking Scooby-Doo isn't on.

I grouped these shows together because they are all on at the same basic time and I feel the same way about them. They're all pretty great shows but I don't feel the need to watch them religiously and you can generally catch them all in some sort of block on Cartoon Network because they usually show their new shows one after another. In addition, they're all aimed at kids but usually have some jokes for us senior citizens to enjoy as well, subtle as they may be.

Dexter's Laboratory is a great show about a genius kid with a lab that, unfortunately, I consider cancelled at this point. The reason I say "consider" is because recently new Dexters have been being broadcast. However, I have a feeling that the original creator is not involved with them because one - he's busy with Samurai Jack and two - they suck pretty bad. Catch the reruns of this show. There are quite a few them. Stay away from the new ones though. You can spot the new ones because they're drawn worse than the originals (but not worse than the really old originals which were drawn quite badly indeed) and Dexter's voice is a bit shittier and Dee Dee's voice is clearly not even the same person anymore.

The Powerpuff Girls is a fun show about little girls with superpowers who fight crime. If you know about it (and it is a mite difficult to avoid the hype), you know that Bubbles is the one that everyone loves and Mojo Jojo is one of the best villains ever. IT IS ALL TRUE. No, really, this is a fun show and it has a lot of cheesy play-on-words jokes like Rocky and Bullwinkle used to do. YOU WATCH AND ENJOY. JUST BECAUSE IT'S CUTE DOESN'T MEAN YOUR MANLINESS IS COMPENSATED! ESPECIALLY YOU WOMEN! I THINK!!!

Samurai Jack is a good show about a Samurai trying to get BACK! to the future!!! that focuses more on action than on being funny. It's interesting and probably the closest thing to anime I'll ever really enjoy. Two problems I have with it is that even though a lot of new cartoons seem to use simplistic drawings, this show manages to look really simple. The backgrounds and characters are exceptionally sparse. In addition, the show is, when you get down to it, rather slow moving. Often, too much time is focused on the same thing happening again and again in one action sequence...in slow motion. JACK CUTS A ROBOT BUG IN HALF! THEN ANOTHER! THEN ANOTHER! THEN ANOTHER! AND I STOP CARING NOW!!! Also, the theme song bites ass. Even so, this show can be downright cool sometimes. It's still worth checking out.

Adult Swim
Airs starting at 10 PM EST on Thursdays and Sundays on Cartoon Network

This is a new block of shows on Cartoon Network that are supposedly aimed at adults although the highest the rating ever goes is TV14. The shows are Home Movies, Baby Blues, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, The Brak Show (supposedly…I have yet to see it), Sealab 2021, Space Ghost Coast to Coast, and Cowboy Bebop. You can ignore that last one. It's anime. With the exception of Baby Blues (which is actually pretty decent considering the shitty newspaper comic it's derived from), most of these shows are very odd and nonsensical and a lot of the humor is based on the quintessential "long pause" joke as seen in every shitty edition of Spurt. These are cool shows. Most of the humor is dialogue-based as the animation is exceptionally sparse but they are good for a laugh, I think. You watch!! Don't forget to turn it off before Cowboy Bebop comes on at 12 though.

Spongebob Squarepants
Airs quite a bit on Nickelodeon

This show looked pretty stupid to me when I first saw commercials for it. Now that I've actually seen it though, it's really quite funny. It's no Invader Zim though...BUT THEY DIDN'T CANCEL THIS NOW DID THEY!!!?? Anyway, check it out. Invader Zim is still more important, however, remember.

Futurama
Airs on Fox at a really shitty time. 7 PM EST on Sundays I think.

This is the second TV show brainchild of The Simpsons' Matt Groening. Actually, I think he's second in command on this show and the first guy is someone else who works on The Simpsons. Anyway, I think this show gets ignored a lot, possibly because of its lame air time. I know I forget to turn it on quite often and when I do remember it's usually cancelled because of football or something. This is a good show, however. It's essentially like The Simpsons' people getting a clean slate and not running out of ideas like on The Simpsons. Actually, it's just come to my attention that this show's been cancelled. Um...watch it while you can.

Family Guy
Airs at 8 PM EST on Thursdays on Fox...but who knows how long that'll last?

This is another show that I care not for the time at which it airs. This show, although a bit of a copy of The Simpsons what with the fat, stupid father and semi-dysfunctional family, is durned funny in its own right. It appears to frequently alternate between going on and off the air so catch it when you can. It is offensive! You love it! And guess what!? I have also recently learned that this show has been cancelled (again?) as well!! Anyone notice a trend here?! All my shows get cancelled (because they are...good?)! FUCK!

The Simpsons
Airs a lot on Fox.

Like I even have to tell you to watch this. Even though the plot lines are getting really ass-like and seem to change about five times per episodes, this show does still effectively deliver laughs. After so many years that's an amazing feat in itself. This is still worth watching and if you don't agree, there's always the reruns.




SHIT YOU SHOULD STAY AS FAR THE HELLFUCK AWAY FROM AS POSSIBLE

These are examples of bad programming that no one should ever watch ever.

The Ripping Friends
Some time on Saturday. Bah.

It really hurts me to say this. This is John Kricfalusi's (I'm not sure I spelled that right and I don't care enough to look it up) new show. This is the man responsible for The Ren and Stimpy Show which is still one of my old favorites. His style is immediately evident in this show but the big difference between the two is that this one sucks...hard. It's about four strong guys who do stuff that I don't care about. It's rather disturbing to me that John appears to enjoy drawing guys with rippling muscles all the time now, especially since there are scenes with them taking baths in cement and the like. Why? The show is basically a whole lot of slow, boring scenes connected to other slow, boring scenes. There are gaps in the action but not deliberately large gaps that are there to be funny...they're small ones that seem to exist between...well...EVERYTHING. For example, someone will talk...then pause...then say their next line. Someone will say something...then pause...then walk over to something...pause...do something else. It just seems slow moving. There's gross-out humor in this too but unlike Ren and Stimpy, it's just the gross-out without the humor. Overall, a huge disappointment for me.

All Anime Ever
Shut it.

The only place you can really catch anime on TV right now is on Cartoon Network's shitty-ass Toonami block (and the aforementioned Cowboy Bebop). I really tried to keep on open mind about anime and see if I could understand what all the hubbub was about but I'm afraid that except for a few select instances, it all still sucks.

House Invaders and Garden Invaders
(British People Who Get the BBC Only)
I dunno when this crap is on. I'm not gonna try and figure out your crazy European time, I don't understand the "metrik sistum," motherfucking clock goes up to 24, shit!!

These are both stupid game shows of sorts that I saw on the BBC during an excursion to Egypt. They suck. British people, I implore you not to watch these. Also, don't watch Top of the Pops...DJ!

All Reality Television
Fuck you.

They label a lot of things "reality TV" these days and it's all bad. Don't watch it or I'll kill myself. No wait...you. Better.

All of MTV's Fine Programming
You suck.

MTV is a horrendous porn channel. Have you seen that Dismissed crap? Never mind, forget I mentioned it. Ignore this channel completely unless you are watching it to see the new Britney video...and you'd better be watching it to masturbate to it and not for its musical merit (or lack thereof).

Any and All Sitcoms
PLOOG.

These foul inventions are the bane of my existence.

E!
No.

NO.


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