The West Wing
Review By: Dan the Angry Conservative

Gringo once told me that he likes the television show The West Wing. Well, he didn't actually tell me this, he said it in an e-mail. I've never met Gringo in person. I just tried to make you think I was his friend, so you'd think I'm cool. Which makes me sort of like that broad who claimed to be Hitler's favorite prostitute.

Anyway, The West Wing sucks. The West Wing sucks. That is the thesis for this review of The West Wing. Anyone who lives in America or Canada would know that we haven't had a halfway decent Democrat president since William Henry Harrison (who was a Whig), so why make a show about a Democrat president? That's just a totally unrealistic setup.

The West Wing has two goals; to spread liberal propaganda and to entertain. It accomplishes only one. Every single character is not only portrayed by a bad actor (including liberal fuhrer Martin Sheen) but is also a terribly one sided, unrealistic, uninteresting shell of an actual human being.

Gringo is from England, and since most Listen To Me readers are the friends and family of the writers, I'm going to assume many of you live in England. So, I have prepared a handy device that you can use to tell if an American president is good or bad. Think of the president's name. If he is often referred to by his initials, then he is bad. Examples include Lyndon Baines Johnson (LBJ), John F. Kennedy (JFK), Franklin Delano Roosevelt (FDR), and Susan B. Anthony (SBA). All four sucked, quite frankly. But one fun fact about SBA, she was pro-life, unlike most of the Neanderthalish 'feminists' in America. They can't even say 'pro-life'. They have to give it a negative spin like 'anti-abortion' or 'baby-hugger'. Pseudo-feminists like that give legitimate feminists a bad name. Supposed 'reproductive rights workers' are an insult to actual activists around the world doing useful things like working to let Afghan woman show their faces in public, or fighting to stop forced prostitution in Nepal. Did you notice that in the beginning of this paragraph I say that the friends of LTM writers read the site? Their numbers equal zero; the writers have no friends.

I bring up forced prostitution and Afghan women cause these were two issues 'dealt with' in a recent episode I watched. In it, one of the cabinet members or secretaries or interns or some White House loafer goes to the Woman's Leadership Conference (or committee or something) to discuss something about woman, possibly cooking and cleaning.

Anyway, this guy, let us call him Rod, goes to talk to some bigwig feminist. While in her office, he notices lots of racy pictures of woman with big muscles and mean faces. He says the pictures "scare him" or something and the receptionist says something like "they are supposed to." Hmm… why do extreme feminists have pictures of half-naked, muscle-clad women in their offices?

I found the feminist, let us call her Virginia, to be highly unrealistic, and very badly acted. First off, the actor portraying her was very, very hot. This is unrealistic - when have you last seen an attractive feminist? She also acted very girly and flirty with Rod, which was just silly.

Virginia was saying that the president should be more anti-prostitution or something. She said that if he didn't do as she said, it would anger woman, who are half of the nation's voters. Rod replied with "who else are you gonna vote for?" I have two problems with this exchange. First off, Virginia thinks she speaks for all American woman. This is just crazy. Many feminists seem to do this, probably because they are so fucking self-righteous. Then I have a problem with Rod's subtle insult to the Republican Party. Now don't get me wrong, I'm no ultra-conservative. I routinely make fun of Christianity (I'm a Jew), I support almost all civil liberties, and I don't own a gun. But I fully support gun ownership. Guns are important to America. If we didn't have the second amendment, British bastards like Gringo would invade Boston, burn our flag, and make Das King the President.

There is a British exchange student at my school. She is in my German class (therefore she can speak three languages). My friend Alex has been trying to mack it to her.

I also didn't like how the president kept making fun of black people. This Bartlett fellow sure hates the blacks, or as he calls them, "tar-babies". In one scene, he is debating Roman History with an African-American intern. He laughs at the boy's ignorance about European history saying "you know nothing of the Visigoths, and I know everything. Now pick my cotton, darkie!". That is a direct quote.

I took notes while I was watching The West Wing, and for some reason I wrote down "'I'm god prez" I don't know what this means, but it was probably something to with the part where Bartlett tells the man of Saharan decent, "I am here to protect you. The White Man's Burden is the burden of God. Now I done told you five minutes ago to pick my cotton and you still be jus' sittin' here eatin' watermelon." Direct quote #2. Bartlett said this after a hard night of drinking and cursing.

Back to Rod and Virginia. Virginia giggles like a schoolgirl and says "Guys like you, you wanna get hit over the head". Then Rod leaves. Virginia says "call me, call me. But not after nine or my husband yells". When Rod is walking away, Virginia throws a water balloon at his head and giggles again. Apparently feminists like violence and have water balloons sitting around the office. That and jet-black dildos, which were seen in her office next to the black female body builder picture. Rod sees them and says, "better not let Bartlett see these".

I have lost focus. Gringo told me to write an article about music. His exact words were "Me, Joe, and Ross are too lazy to write more music reviews, wink wink. Now go pick my cotton". Therefore, I have the following to say about music: Any 'artist' that charges fans 50 bucks for the luxury of sitting in the back of an arena and watching a bunch of scantily-clad ant-whores dance around on stage to the beat of a prerecorded piece of pop bullshit is a sellout. The last show I went to was a local punk show with four great local bands that feel passionately about their music and give a shit about their fans. The show cost five bucks. Britney Spears is a whore. Some guy is LICKING HER in her new 'music video'. You, Ms. Spears, may call it a music video, but I call it a pornographic commercial. Pop stars these days sell sex and coolness. Yet frankly I don't find anybody on top 40 to be either. These synthetic fucks and the machines that drive them ruin music the same way that Hitler ruined the 1933 Olympics.

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