This is my best and worst thing because I was cool enough to do it.

BEST:

1.) Athens Olympics

If you did not find something you liked you are a gay faggot and you you should watch the splendid Anal Rape Olympics instead. There was female beach volleyball and archery! The US softball team was certainly a talented lot. The commies won nothing except gay sports like badmington so that is always fun. In the marathon some guy was attacked by a Catholic priest costing him the race and that was hilarious. The US basketball team was the worst won ever and they were humiliated and the world laughed.

2.) George W. Bush is re-elected

The slimy Democrats actually thought they had a choice. Hah! Don't tell anyone but the Trinity Broadcasting Network (TBN) actually won this election for Bush by airing nothing but propaganda for the last year.' Oh, more good times were to be had on election night as the trusty Bible belt proved unbreakable. You would have thought those damn faggots could have waited until after the election to get married but nnoooo. Now Western civilization is doomed. Woohoo!

3.) Christopher Reeves dies

I am probably alone in my view but I for one could not stand that little whiner in his wheelchair. Who gives a fuck about stem cell research? Stem cell research wouldn't have saved him and now we won't have to here from him anymore. Stem cell research is just an excuse for a process that will eventually lead to cloning and it must be stopped before we have an Attack of the Clones. Burn in hell, mother fucker!

WORST:

1.) Ronald Reagan dies

I am sure you are crying along with me here. If not, you are just a liberal asshole. He didn't need stem cell research or any of that shit.

No, he simply asked the Lord for forgiveness like a real Republican does. Reagan saved us from the commies and he did other stuff like saving the world from Godzilla. I even enjoyed the classic Bedtime for Bonzo. A salute to you, President Reagan, you will be remembered forever! Rest in peace, old friend.

2.) Gringo leaves LTM

Sure, he may been openly gay but we can't forget everything Gringo gave us. He built LTM Towers with his hands and we tore our clothes and wept the day he bid us farewell. It's been tough without him but somehow we'll pull through. He was our fearless leader and he always took it from behind. He will be missed.

3.) Britney Spears gets married

I just couldn't believe it. Oh well.