This Is Worth Reading
Written By: Weasel

I'm not sure why, but I really like this girl, okay? She's even weirder than me, so maybe that is why I'm so attracted to her. She used to be my boss when I worked as Wendy's and she was a bitch to me because I tended to space out every 4 seconds and forget what I was doing. Thing is, she just so happens to be friends with my best friend Jen who also works at Wendy's, so I knew in the back of my head that I would one day end up seeing what she was really like when she wasn't running around with a basket of fries or yelling at me about how I was serving severely burnt hamburgers.

So one day I'm just hanging out with Jen and her boyfriend Rob and its like 11 o'clock at night and she shows up. She looks over and sees me and just smiles awkwardly and says "Hi Josh." So I say "Hey there Tatiana." With an amused grin. I forget why this amused me. So we all hang out, and I make an ass of myself as usual by singing along with every goddamn song that Jen's computer is playing including I Believe In A Thing Called Love by The Darkness and Faith by Limp Bizkit. And I should mention when I sing, I scream at the top of my lungs right along with the singer of whichever band I'm listening to. So apparently I'm cool now and she demands she hangs out with me again. And again. And again.

So this hot little Russian girl who is my boss and likes spending time with me ends up being one of my new favorite people to hang out with. Anyway, after I stop making an ass of myself, its her turn. She's tired as fuck from working all day and she ends up talking about the movie Mrs. Doubtfire and how much she loves it. I couldn't understand a friggin' thing she said though. Neither could Jen.

We just sat in awe and watched her rant for 10 minutes about it. Then I started talking about the movie Donnie Darko when Donnie and his sister exchange the most genius insults of all time. "Why you gotta be such a fuckass?" "Did you just call me a fuckass? Why don't you go suck a fuck?" So then Tatiana starts saying the strangest, most random thing I've heard in a long time. "SUCKERFUCKERDUCKER!" and she says this over and over, about 20 times every three minutes. She was the only one who truly found this hilarious. I was sort of frightened.

So now I always request we find Tatiana and make her hang out with us so that I can look less crazy and so that I can look at her. Oh yeah, the only reason I don't want to like, ask her out or whatever is because she's bisexual and she's in love with Jen's cousin Rachel who is in a relationship with a guy named Trevor who is like 10 years older than Rachel and both of them are managers at different Wendy's stores.

Oh yeah I also had hung out with Tatiana and Jen and Jen's boyfriend Rob this one time, and we were at the supermarket for some reason, and we all got distracted by the alcohol section. So we went to Wendy's and got our of-age friend to get us a shitload of vodka and vodka-like beverages and we all got trashed. Then Tatiana drove me home the next day at 6:00am when I had to be at work at 7:00am and when I got inside my apartment I blacked out on the floor and woke up at 4:00pm. I got fired for that one.

I wish I could get hired back. I actually liked working there. Oh well.

Wendy's: Hot food, tasty girls, what more could you want?

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