The Theory of Lauren
Written By: Lauren

The other day I was sitting around and thought about what would happen if you drilled a hole all the way through the Earth and jumped in feet first. When you got to the other side would you land on your head?

You would land on your head if you fell straight through, but the closer you get to the center of the earth the stronger gravity is, and since gravity is a pulling force, the center of the earth is pulling from every directing that's why it makes the earth a sphere. So theoretically you would get stuck right in the center.

So let's say you would get stuck right in the center of the Earth, but you still wanted to travel through the Earth (the shortest distance between two points is a straight line). You also don't want to end up on your head, so here is my design for the Earthevator.

It's like a capsule with a negatively charged magnet on the bottom to pull it towards the center of the earth, which is positively charged. Then when it passes through the center it swaps ends because of gravity pulling the heavier side down and the magnet flipping it over. Then the magnet reverses polarity and becomes positive. Repelling the Earthavator "upwards" to the surface.

I told my friend about this and he said he was going to take the center of the earth and put it in a box to hold "THE POWER", then my fat friend said he would take the core of the earth and spread it on a piece of toast and eat it. I told him if he ate he would turn inside out. And then that made me think about this.

If there was a giant ring big enough that would spin fast enough it could simulate a planet and gravity. And normal people could live on one side and people who like Anime could live on the other side in the planets wastelands.

So that's the Theory of Lauren. Man, I am a genius.

Oh yea, and I forgot something. Fuck ass!


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