How To Be Funny
Written By: Lauren

Everyone wants to be (or thinks they are) funny. And why not! Everyone loves clowns, especially really hot slutty chicks who put out...... to clowns. And if you're funny enough you can have your own super funny show like Friends! Wait, no. Anyway here are some do's and don'ts of being funny (and I know).

DO'S

1. Wit
This is probably not for you seeing how it takes semi-intelligence and you read this site. Although if used properly it can have very positive results Wit includes clever uses of words and scenarios to produce classy and tasteful jokes. Sounds boring already.

2. Cussing
My all time favorite! Who doesn't think cussing is funny? The Pope, you say? Well I bet he would think this is funny. Suck my fucking cock, bitch! Hahaha! Hilarious! I find that using variations of the word fuck are quite comical. Chris Rock built an entire career off this principle. Although this type of humor may be regarded as "lowbrow" or "crude" or some other elitist bullshit anus dick.

3. Physical injuries
Who can't resist laughing at other people's pain? The Pope... maybe. I know I love to watch some dudes spine snap and shatter into fragments, splintering out his back. Or a really well placed kicked to the old bean bag is always side splitting entertainment. Remember kids! Excruciating pain= Fun!

DON'TS

1. Mime
There is nothing people hate more than Mimes. Seeing a guy with a sad face painted on, pretending to tug on a rope isn't funny. Unless that rope was actually my penis. Then he wouldn't need a painted on sad face. (Get it! He would be sad because he had to pull on my penis! Get it!...I'm so alone.)

2. Make fun of my name
Seriously.

3. Write guides
That just isn't funny.

4. Become Ross
:-(

5. Bodily functions
Oh wait. That should be in the do's!

Well there you have it. Remember to use wit, cuss, and get hurt, secrete vile fluids or a combination of everything. Here is a great example:

Guy One: I'm pissed off because I got a cut on my arm!

One Funny Bastard: Well that's better than being pissed on. (wit)

One Funny Bastard whips out his penis and pisses (bodily fluids) all over Guy One's wound.

Guy One: It burns!!! (physical injury)

One Funny Bastard: Suck my fucking cock, bitch! (cussing)


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