The Five Worst American Presidents...Ever!
Written By: Mack Salmon

Part of our continuing Five Worst...Ever! series, I decided that Gringo did a mostly shit job with his five worst presidents. So, limiting my coverage to actual presidents, here are my Five Worst American Presidents...Ever!

5. Warren G. Harding

When Harding was sober enough to make any decisions, he usually just let his friends run rampant over everything. Didn't seem to have half a clue as to what was going on, as he spent most of his reign of terror inebriated. A useless lush, his cabinet, referred to as the "poker cabinet" due to the massive amounts of gambling they did (Harding lost a lot of White House art playing poker) made themselves rich by exploiting Harding's drunkenness.

4. William Henry Harrison

Gringo says it all about him, so go read Gringo's article and pretend I said that.

3. Andrew Johnson

No need to go into great detail here. After Lincoln got killed, Johnson stepped in and wrecked everything Lincoln had worked for in terms of racial equality. Way to go Johnson, you worthless bastard.

2. Lyndon B. Johnson

This guy, ugh. Maybe if he had known what the fuck he was doing, we would have won Vietnam. Of course, the tradition of the government outright lying to the people continues with this guy, who, despite giving speeches about how close we were to winning the war, revealed in private that he knew we didn't have much of a chance of succeeding over there. Also, he didn't even get elected initially, only being able to get into office when the guy he was a Vice President to got killed.

1. John F. Kennedy

I know, I know, everyone was sad when he died, so he must have been a great president, right? No, idiot! The only reason he was elected was because he was better looking than Richard Nixon on the first-ever televised presidential debate. Of course, Nixon would have the last laugh as far as that rivalry went. Anyways, JFK didn't do much of anything that amounted to anything in his political career. There was the Bay of Pigs invasion that worked REAL WELL! Then JFK got shot and died, and nobody really knew who did it. Lee Harvey Oswald got blamed, but said that he knew, so someone shot him. Now we'll never know. As far as JFK goes, well, everyone seemed to like him a lot more after he died, even though he didn't do much. His replacement wasn't much better, though.


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