The Best Of 2002
Written By: Gringo, Joe, Ross, Darth Phenom, Mack Salmon & Jeff

This is a long shmoogy list of the 30 best and worst things some of the writers from this site could come up with. Those from LTM who didn't take part either never responded to my email asking them to, or they're just stupid and unfunny.

Anyway, the idea for this list thing came from Mike Fireball over at Poprocks & Coke, so you should visit his site and stuff.

The other websites involved in this are, in no real order:

A Broken Crate
The Closed Mind
Dancing Swines
Entertainment Asylum
Huffin & Puffin
The Marked Fool
Project Wonderboy
We Ain't Cool

The Best Of 2002             The Worst Of 2002

Ross' Choices

1. Mr. T and Alf in Collect Call commericals - I don't know why people hate these things. They're great! Mr. T has recovered from his cancer, and instead of us having to wait till his next movie deal the kind hearted souls over at Collect have given us a bit of T to go around. And with Alf, well, he's never getting anything else except Gringo maybe reviewing another one of his games.

2. Bush choking on a goddamned pretzel - HAHAHHAHAH WHAT AN IDIOT

3. T.A.T.U - I don't know why no one thought of this before. They're two teenage girls, right? And they sing pop music, right? But, they're lesbians. And they dance around in wet t-shirts. And they get it on with each other. Leave it to those Ruskies.

4. Maddox - This man is right about EVERYTHING he has EVER said.

Mack Salmon's Choices

5. Jhonen Vasquez comics - he likes them.

6. Playstation 2 - and this.

7. Brock Lesnar - and this!

Jeff's Choices

8. Bill Gates - In November, Bill Gates donated 100 million dollars to be used for aids research in India and, as a sign of gratitude, was given a giant condom. A clever man would make up a joke about how funny it is that someone who is often called "The Worlds Biggest Dick" was given such a thing but I'm just not drunk enough tonight.

9. Conan O' Brien - Conan O'Brien took the helm at this years Emmy awards and turned what would normally be considered as a national day of mourning into 73 hours of pure brain-melting fun.

10. Mail Call - Finally, a television show that explains everything you ever wanted to know about the military without having to actually sign up for it. OO-RAH!

11. Spiderman - With what seemed to be a year of Star Wars and Harry Potter ruling the theater, out of nowhere came Spiderman and blew them both out of the water. While the trailer gave the impression that this would be just another mediocre superhero film, Spiderman managed to break all kinds of box office records and be an entertaining two hours as well.

Gringo's Choices

12. Lilo & Stitch - Secret: I am really a 12-year-old girl. After churning out low-grade sequels (Aladdin: The Return Of Jafar, anyone?) and making half-assed attempts at decent animated movies, like Tarzan and Atlantis, someone at Disney actually got something right. Lilo & Stitch was funny, had a lot of scenes of destruction and showed the House of Mouse (I'm so sorry) could still make a good movie. Then again, they've just made a long line of straight-to-video sequels, including Cinderella II: Dreams Come True, so who the fuck knows where they're going from here?

13. Los Angeles, May - My first visit to Los Angeles - to visit a friend living out there - was excellent. Drinking, insulting celebrities, wasting money and throwing up. Perfect. I was also meant to meet Joe, at that year's E3 geekfest. Instead, I went to Vegas after one day of scouring the halls of E3 trying to find him. Still, one of my most memorable fortnights of 2002, so it makes the list. Tough grading procedures, eh?

14. Maladroit - This album proved that Weezer - after their blandly titled and overall bland-sounding The Green Album - were still a good band. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed the previous album, but it wasn't really up to the band's first two efforts. Maladroit, however, was. WHAT MORE DO YOU WANT?

15. Trent Lott being allowed to make speeches - Then having to give up his Majority Leader status. Success!

16. New York City, November - After the whole E3 debacle, I finally got to meet Joe, his tubby friend Keran and Joe's friend Colin. They were all winners, and both Joe and I have written some stuff about the visit I'll put up when I can be bothered. I also really liked New York City as a whole. Much better than the cuntbox I currently live in, anyway.

17. Evenflow - Just because it really shows the rest of the Internet how stupid we are.

Darth Phenom's Choices

18. Roskilde '02 - I've been meaning to write a review on this for six months now but I just can't find the time. Haw. Between the man sex backstage with Rammstein and the sodomy of Slayer, Roskilde had something for everyone!

19. Soccer World Cup - Neither the Germans or English won. France failed to score one goal.

20. - It was even better this year than last year! :D :D

Joe's Choices

21. War Of The Monsters demo - Have you played this game? It's FUCKING AWESOME! I got this demo about a month ago and the only thing my friends up at college and I do now is play it...AND IT'S ONLY A BLOODY DEMO! The real game comes out in January but, SHIT, this game is so kick-ass that my friends and I play it nonstop all the time and have all gotten incredibly proficient at it. When this game comes out, YOU SHOULD BUY IT.

22. Bitches - Here's my first personal entry that ruins the whole concept of this for everybody else. Frankly, I've befriended more women this year than I've had in pretty much forever and it is quite nice. Girls are generally smarter than guys are and they have no issues with hugging liberally (it is like when you hug and vote pro-choice at the same time) and hugs make everybody feel special! For all you losers out there, I suggest befriending some women because they are awesome! In general, I don't think they really like being called bitches like I have done here but most of my girlfriends (as in friends who are girls) would probably not be offended by this and, besides, even if they would be, they don't know about this site so ha!

23. New South Parks - I seriously feel like this show is all the more on top of its game now, possibly more than it has ever been before. The societal satire is utterly kick-ass, the jokes are top notch, and the offensiveness has reached new levels of ingeniousness. Frankly, pretty much all the new South Parks this year rocked hardcore. Trey Parker and Matt Stone are my friggin' heroes.

24. My old roommate - More personal entries!!! My old roommate from this semester, Blaine, was incredibly awesome. He listened to cool music and was really cool to have conversations with as I have met fewer people who seemed to have ideas similar to (or dwarfing) my own. He was not just roommate...HE WAS MY FRIEND! I AM GOING TO CRY!

25. My friend Colin - PERSONAL WINS???! This man is one of the few people that makes my college tolerable. This one time, in his room, he farted really loudly twice in succession and then proceeded to angrily shout "LEAVE!!!" Trust me, it was hilarious.

26. Rumble In The Bronx - Yes, I know this movie came out quite a while ago but I didn't actually see it in full until 2002. BEST. MOVIE. EVER. Jackie Chan is always kick-ass and have you heard the dubbing? I MEAN HAVE YOU?! I AM DA CHINAMAN! I HAVE YO DIAMONDS! I HAVE YO PEEPOL!

27. Shows - I got to see a bunch of neat shows this year, including They Might Be Giants and Mindless Self Indulgence (I think that was this year but it was awhile ago..haha I was supposed to write a review of that!). Oh, I also got into the Warped Tour for free, so that was definitely worth the zero dollars I spent on it.

28. Fat people - They are so easy to make fun of.

29. Dead kittens - Fun to toss!

30. Some other stupid random thing I just made up - THIS WAS AWESOME!!!!

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