More Junk E-Mail
Written By: Gringo & Joe

Hello! Gringo here! Oh no! I'm going to write the introduction, but I've actually had very little input to what's written below. That's because I'm (a) lazy and (b) unfunny. Joe, however, has been using his brainmeats to help devise smart-ass answers to another batch of junk e-mails we've received. See, that's the downside of porn site subscriptions. INSERT SAD FACE HERE. Anyway, because I'm such a man-slut for extra content I decided that it'd be a good idea to repeat our very first article for the 'Stuff' section, namely a review of a bunch of junk emails. So here you get to read all-new angst-filled replies to all-new sex-filled e-mails. Success! Celebration! Crapulence!


From: r_u_4_cash@yahoo.com
Subject: Have you heard this one before?
If it's "I LUV CUM U HAVE WON MONIES 205286aibis" then yes.

From: lenderz_587@netian.com
Subject: Urgent: Check is Unclaimed KGWUNBJESSE
That KGWUNBJESSE is always forgetting to tell me about those checks he writes for me.

From: Cindy5468y08@yahoo.c...
Subject: SKANKY GYNO SLUTS!!!
I...don't know what this means.

From: JasmineSmith329@yahoo...
Subject: Mandy, I caught him cheating a..
CHEATING A WHAT???! DAMMIT, IF ONLY I CARED ENOUGH TO ACTUALLY READ THE LETTER!!!

From: susan69@cranfield.ac...
Subject: Re:FREE SEX!
I don't remember sending out an email with the subject "FREE SEX!"

From: info@rate-alerts-dir...
Subject: Mortgage Rates Drop (take action now)
Pants Drop (take action now)

From: sweetnnasty2@hotmail...
Subject: I WANT TO EAT CUM!
OK!

From: 76642.1741xzLLgt@aol...
Subject: HI! huYsPZ-laEB-pO
Does that say something about a placebo?

From: nspamela31065@ok.ru
Subject: J. Lopez in miniskirt - panties (53340)
WELL WHICH ONE IS IT?!

From: antojitosus@yahoo.co...
Subject: Make money online today!
No. It doesn't work like that.

From: ezboard partner
Subject: Collect your Tide Sample
NEVER!!!

From: Kristy78953@yahoo.co...
Subject: FIND NASTY DIRT ON EVERYONE!!!
This is an e-mail about magic goggles that enable you to see germs when you put them on. NASTY ONES.

From: Wet_Pussy-pkcscg@yah...
Subject: REALLY Sweet Tits, yokkfu
From: Wet_Pussy-xesbsk@big...
Subject: REALLY Sweet Tits, avokcp
They got my name wrong both times. Also, I don't really have tits but I appreciate the compliment anyway.

From: chico948@msn.com
Subject: All new girls added to our archive
If they're NEW girls why are they in your ARCHIVE?

From: bryanne@newyorkcity....
Subject: NO EMBARRASSING DOCTORS REQUIRED!!!
I hate those e-mails that require that I have an embarrassing doctor present to view them. Doctor: "Oh, that is a good email...ha! You still wet your bed!"

From: bzymom678@mailandnew...
Subject: hot nurses doing all nasty things imaginable
Like emptying bedpans? EWWW.

From: Kristy0260x71@yahoo....
Subject: GET A HUGE FAT COCK!!!
Ok. Now what?

From: gabykienitz@3s.com.t...
Subject: Need Leads? Here's A Solution
People whose family members were murdered probably get real excited when they see the subject. Too bad it's probably just a bunch of leads...TO PORNO!!!

From: Katie84311@yahoo.com
Subject: FREAKY HOSPITAL SEX!!!
Embarrassing doctors required?

From: bdmagic2530@eudorama...
Subject: FEED BIRDS NOT SQUIRRELS

RIGHT ON! FUCK THOSE SQUIRREL BASTARDS!!


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