The Winter Olympics 2002
Written By: Dan the Angry Conservative

Who fucking cares about the Olympics? They suck. They're boring. They don't stand for anything anymore. The 2002 Olympics in Salt Lake City has been mired in controversy since its beginning. Why? Because Mormons are evil.

If the winter Olympics were to be held in Italy, which city would be good? Maybe Rome, Milan, or Tuscany? How about the Vatican City? No, no the Vatican City is a fucking retarded place to have the Olympic games. Why? Because it's a city full of stupid religious people who go against everything the Olympics stand for. The Olympics are about International Unity. The Mormons (and Catholics) believe they are the most important, and only right, religion and everyone else is a filthy, wrong, hell-bound, heathen.

Mormonism is based on the teachings of a guy with over 50 wives. John Smith (who also saved Pocahontas from the Indians), the oversexed founder, lied about the number of wives he had repeatedly, probably to get more wives. He lived in upstate New York, not far from me. This fills me with shame.

Mormons don't drink caffeine. This isn't a good thing for polygamists. They wake up in the morning and the absence of coffee makes them cranky. Then they beat their many wives. But not all Mormons practice polygamy. But all, 100% practice wife beating.

I read in an article in the New Yorker (that's right, you swine, I read the New Yorker. It's the London Times of America!) that the average Mormon missionary converts 5 people in the average 2 year outing. Ha ha ha. Fucking wasting their lives. Midget porn stars contribute more to the world. Suck those titties,you little faggot!

The state of Utah is roughly 80 percent Mormon (that is counting "non-practicing," or as I like to say "slightly smarter," Mormons). This is far too much for it to function as a democracy.

"Dan, aren't you afraid some Mormons are gonna read this and come start ruckus?" No, and I'll tell you why. First off, few Mormons can read. Second, when Mormons use the Internet, they are usually using dating services to find more wives. Third, I can beat up any Mormon ever, because they like men and I like girls.

The Olympics is stupid, especially the winter Olympics. The flagship of the winter games is figure skating instead of the much more violent hockey, which is stupid. But still, team sports don't belong in the Olympics, the big countries pass out anal rapings to the less powerful like Islamic warlords (it is a well known fact that Islamic warlords do a lot of anal raping) in most any team sport. Rich countries also have an unfair advantage. The summer Olympics should be reduced to running, wrestling, and blackjack. The winter games should be abolished. Women and Mormons should be banned, and gays.

Mormons consider the outfits worn by most athletes to be sinful. Speedos for swimmers, prissy body revealing outfits for skaters, less prissy but more body revealing outfits for runners, nakedness for the original Olympic competitors. Gebus (that is what Mormons call Jesus), all those athletes prancing around in such outfits. Harlots they are.

Mormonism is anti-Semitic. Next time you see a Mormon on the street yell "hey, nazi fuck, go back to Germany!" That will show him. He will get mad and go beat up his wife. You see, if you stand up to a Mormon, they feel weak. To feel strong again, they pick on their wives. Their wives are often their brother's daughters.

One time me and Bobby and Davey found a passed out Mormon in the woods. His pants were down. He smelled like that stuff Daddy makes in his secret shed. He was clutching a wooden club in one wand and his own penis in the other. His club said "I love to beat wives" and his penis said "Mormon til I die." I kicked him in the face and Bobby wrote "fag" on his forehead with dog poo.

In conclusion, the 2002 Olympics are the worst Olympics ever, worse than the 1936 Berlin "nazi" Olympics. At least Hitler had only one wife. Joseph Smith had over 50 and killed them all by making their rectums bleed profusely.

This website is © 2001-2008 Listen To Me. All pictures, sounds and other stuff which doesn't belong to us is © its respective owner(s). Everything else is a free-for-all. Steal anything we created (as if you'd ever want to) and we'll...well, we probably won't be motivated to do anything. But you never know. And yes, that is Colonel Sanders throwing a punch at this copyright notice. SMACK