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22nd October, 2002

Gringo's Final Push

Cuntsburg, New Jersey - In the world of clichés, Gringo is so hot, his supporters need kid gloves to handle him upon removal from the cooker of New Jersey politics. The Sheriff of El Town today said Senator Torricelli's unexpected departure from the upcoming Senate race was: "The last desperate act of a cunty."

Challenging Senator Torricelli's genuine removal from the race, he mocked the new Democrat challenger, Frank Lautenberg, saying: "I hope he realises he is just as much of a cunty. My Republican nemesis, Doug Forrester, is also a cunty, but he is less of one because all good Republicans believe in the NRA."

With just a few short weeks of campaigning to go until the state's senate election on Tuesday, November 5, Sheriff Gringo is cajoling his fickle band of supporters into a cohesive army, ready to take to the polls and vote him in to office.

After visiting several non-existant New Jersey towns, Gringo chose the unlikely setting of a working steamboat to announce that, judging from internal polling - from e-mails of support and voiced promises to vote (which fluctuate monthly) - he could score a sensational SEVEN votes in the upcoming election.

To reinforce his message, Gringo lobbied several former Presidents of the United States, both living and dead, to endorse his campaign. We can now reveal, in the Sheriff's second and final campaign video, the fine Commanders in Chief who give Gringo the thumbs-up.

Click here to watch the "Endorse" campaign video

Keep visiting the Gringo for Senate site for an election-night update in November.

And remember: vote for Gringo...or get death!