Mindless Self Indulgence: Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy
Review By: Joe

Strangely (Sexy) enough, I heard about this band from fellow staff member (we call each other that because it makes it sound like this is a real job), Ross. Quite peculiar considering I didn't think anything came out of Ross except awful reviews of A.I. but sometimes people surprise you, I guess. Stalkers, for example, jump out of bushes. But I digress.

As I recall, when Ross first sent me a Mindless Self Indulgence (or MSI fo short!!!) track (Keepin' Up With The Kids), he described them thusly: "They're not really good to listen to but their music sounds like Atari shit on speed." Also, this happened:

[Ross] HAVE YOU HEARD OF MINDLESS SELF INDULGENCE?

[Joe] OH YES I PARTAKE IT IN ALL THE TIME :-)

I thought that was cute anyway. Well, we can move on now.

So I heard the first track and thought that it wasn't bad for insane crap. Ross then sent me Bitches, a song with some of the best lyrics I've heard since the US national anthem: "The bitches love me cause they know that I can rock. The bitches love me cause they know that I can rhyme. The bitches love me cause they know that I can fuck. The bitches love me cause they know that I'm on time." Actually, I take that back. This kicks the shit out of the national anthem.

At any rate, a few months and about twenty bucks later and I am the proud owner of MSI's second CD (the first one is supposedly very hard to find because, to quote their official website, "people hate [them]"). The album consists of thirty tracks in alphabetical order that clock in at just under an hour. The back of the album lists all the tracks...with all of the vowels replaced with "*" whether they contain curses or not. Just thought I'd mention that because I thought it was funny. You can screw off, chubby!

MSI's sound is exceptionally difficult to describe. Their record label says this: "The music is an aggressive & humorous hybrid of industrial jungle hiphop & new wave played by a punk band doused with a venomous splash of attention deficit disorder." It's rather difficult to attempt to fit them into a genre as well. Apparently, they're "Industrial Jungle Pussy Punk." I'm pretty sure they dubbed themselves that and I'm also pretty sure it's deliberately completely unhelpful in describing just what the hell they are. If I were to give it a go of my own, I'd probably say that they're some sort of crack baby hybrid of techno, punk, maybe some hip hop, Atari sounds, and...um...weird shit. The only reason my description doesn't mention industrial or jungle at all is because I don't really know what either is. Basically, MSI is something you have to hear for yourself to understand exactly what the hellpoop it is.

The average MSI song (if there is one) generally has this setup: some genuine singing from Little Jimmy Urine (yes, that's the singer's name) followed by some really fast yelling and shit...and a very noisy background with lots of junk going on at once. One would think with stupid crap like this I'd get tired of it at about track 5 but I've oddly enough listened to this album countless times now and have found at least some merit in nearly every track, if not every. Hell, I even like the stupid joke tracks (the white wall plaster, it never catch on...YOU HEARD ME). I think it's actually my current favorite album. This is as shocking to me as it would be to my mother if she heard one second of this CD. Well, no, she'd be really shocked. That'd be really funny though. I should cram some headphones on her head some time and play this album. She'd probably scream real loud and then her head would explode. That'd be cool. I'm doing that tomorrow. Oh, right, review.

That's another thing about MSI. They're pretty offensive, I guess. The first track on the album repeatedly says "Kill yourself if you don't get what you want" which I think is very funny but some people with sticks up their asses might not take it the right way even though there's a disclaimer inside the album...hey! I'll type that out for you right now!

"WARNING! You must listen to this album with your tongue planted firmly in your cheek. If you don't have a sense of irony, or you are a piece of shit bigot, or a fundamentalist anything, return this album immediately, don't come to our shows, don't wear our t-shirts. Fuck off. If you're a parent who neglects, beats, or doesn't show your child love, know that we don't condone violence so don't waste our time in court while you try to explain to a jury how our music made your 'happy & normal' child into a deranged lunatic. Thank you."

Now you know...and knowing is half the battle.

Honestly, it didn't even dawn on me that they were offensive until I had a phone conversation with my friend one day that went something like this:

Me: "Have you heard of a band called Mindless Self Indulgence?"

Friend: ".....Yyyes...why?"

Me: "Do you like them?"

Friend: "....Well let me ask you this...do you?"

Me: "I do, actually."

Friend: "Well......I appreciate them for their offensiveness."

I suppose I've been desensitized by television and puppies with no tails over the years but listening to a guy yell the word "faggot" repeatedly as well as alternating between spouting "fuck" and "motherfucker," (which are really quite similar in premise) every couple of seconds didn't seem like a big deal to me. The way I see it, the worst thing said on this album is "I love my mommy cause she fucked my dad. I love my mommy cause she FUCKED THE SHIT OUT OF MY DAD" (the last part is yelled). Now that's not really all that bad is it? Of course then there's the graphic discussion of masturbation and mentions of parental fingering...um...anyway, I guess this band isn't really for everybody. HEY HEY!! SIDE STORY!!!!! I played some MSI for my roommate the other day and he seemed to be unable to comprehend how terrible the music was. He kept repeating things like "Oh my god, what IS this?" When I played that last song I mentioned about the mommy and dad fucking thing he got this look on his face that was really rather entertaining. This proves that, if nothing else, MSI is good for freaking out your roommate. Try it, it's fun. END O' SIDE STORY!!!!

To sum up the way I feel about this band, I will use another paragraph. Novel approach, no?! Mindless Self Indulgence rocks. Although they sound like a bunch of noisy crap all the time, they often make truly nice sounding tunes (although they are then often interrupted by some fast, loud stuff but that's what's so great about it, baby!). Little Jimmy Urine is actually a damn good singer, switching between singing, screaming, and venturing into falsetto with extreme frequency, you can tell that he's got a genuinely versatile voice even though he's using it to recite lyrics such as "Pow! Motherfucker. Pow!" The album is pretty big and full of great tracks (Incidentally, I glorified Bitches far too much here. The rest of the album is cool too.) with essentially stupid lyrics that are pretty durn funny anyway. I'm pretty sure the band knows how stupid they are anyhow judging by some of the live tracks on the album like Mr. Urine leading the audience in a chorus of "We! Suck! Dick!"

Basically, this is really weird shit. I realize I didn't go into many specifics about the album but that's probably because I feel like it's not even worth it because you just have to hear this to see whether or not it is to your liking. I suggest downloading a few songs (LEGALLY) or maybe even just one to see what you think. Just make sure that you do this with an open mind and a high threshold for pain. Personally, Frankenstein Girls Will Seem Strangely Sexy is likely the weirdest, stupidest, shittiest thing I have in my CD collection and I love it like an abused ratbaby. However, my brain has been declared legally unfit for use so there's a good chance you won't feel the same way about this band. For lack of having a better strategy, let's just leave at this. If this little clip here offends you or makes your ears fall off without warning, MSI may not be your cup of tea. Just remember that the bitches love me...and not you. Pow...motherfucker.


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