Busted
Review By: Gringo & Joe

The British are taking over America! It's like the 1700s all over again! Well, no. I'm going to write about a British band (can you guess that they're called Busted?) and whether or not I think they should make it big in the US. I am writing this because (1) I might as well, (2) I can't masturbate non-stop and (3) the lead singer (as such) seems to be even richer than I am, which I always have to respect.

Here is the equation for Busted: take a somewhat upper-class seeming chap, another teenager who is the kind girls or homosexual dandies could take home to their parents and a third who is going for the whole rebel looking by conforming to every teenage rebel angst cliché in the book. THE BOOK OF CLICHÉ! IT IS A MUST READ! I use it to write most of my reviews.

I feel entirely justified in making a conclusion about the band Busted based on four songs, because quite frankly I'm 23 and don't live in the sort of city where a guy can pay for a Busted CD in public, no matter how fruity he may be. And believe me, I'm as fruity as they come. Want to go steady?

Regardless, the only songs I've heard by Busted have been singles from the album that were on the radio. There's no illegal music downloads here! Oh no!

The four songs reviewed in this article are, in order, What I Go To School For, You Said No, Year 3000 and Sleeping With The Light On. After I'm done, Joe will give his expert Yankee opinion on whether Busted should break the US market, or just break their own faces.

OI! GUVNOR! MARY POPPINS?!?!


Gringo's verdict on Busted

What I Go to School For

I went to school to bumble through English literature, German and some other courses before going to university. What did Busted go to school for? According to this song to ogle their teacher, Miss McKenzie.

I quite like the video for this song, given the fact that it appears to start with video footage of frogs having sex. My maturity level deems that to be quality. You'll see that Joe talks about chords a little later on, but I don't play anything except the piano...OH SORRY! YOU STOPPED CARING THREE PARAGRAPHS AGO!

Anyway, this is a catchy, upbeat kind of song in a harmless kind of way. Although I can't sing along with the line "girlfriends I've had plenty" with much conviction. Busted why do you bring back all the hurt?!?!?!

You Said No

This song is all about a guy being turned down after asking someone "to dance at the disco." I thought disco died in the 1970s. Personally I've never been a big fan of dancing and would rather get drunk, flail about, and make an idiot of myself. I was born with class, you see.

This is probably the Busted song I can stand the least, simply because of the comparison of someone singing "my life's such a bitch" while they're raking in a neat percentage on the sales of the single.

Year 3000

There is a very strange set of lines in this song. It goes like this (ONE TWO THREE, BRRRRRRRRRRDLBRRRRR! That was a reference to Dee Lite I am so sorry):

One day when I came home at lunchtime
I heard a funny noise
Went out to the back yard to find out if it was
One of those rowdy boys

Sorry? Rowdy boys? They're going for a kind of British Blink-182 vibe (punch me in the face for using that word) and yet they're scared of "rowdy boys"? Oh well! I could criticise them more, but to be honest the song is rather catchy and the trio has clearly seen the Back To The Future trilogy, as they make references to flux capacitors.

For that reason along, Busted deserve your respect. But the video also has some rather smashing self-deprecation, in the form of showing the band in 1000 years' time. Now, you might think they'd be dead, with maggots crawling through their partly-devoured eye sockets, but no!

They're still going strong, and although I can't be bothered to explain the video at all, it is funny and shows (at least it seems to) that the band members aren't stuck up their own collective backside and can laugh at themselves.

Sleeping With the Light On

I don't like songs that qualify where an English location is. Therefore, when one of Busted sings "Got on a plane from London Heathrow" I immediately decide the tune must be no good. Sorry, Busted!

Overall Impression

I am the only person I know who honestly believes in something of a passing resemblance between Busted's Charlie Simpson and Jaws, the tall bad guy with metal teeth out of two James Bond movies.

         

Thank you and good night!


AMERICA STRIKES BACK!


Joe's verdict on Busted

What I Go to School For

I could tell Busted was something unique as soon as I heard the beginning of this song. It took me about five seconds to realize that it's the same chord progression as almost every song by every shitty punk-pop group ever. For those of you who play guitar and utilize the glory that is power chords, it is the chord progression that I feel can best be described as the 'T-shaped' chord progression. Other songs that make use of this tired sound are "Dammit" by Blink-182 and "Right Now" by SR-71. An example of a song I actually like that uses this is Weezer's "My Name is Jonas."

This chord progression has become so popular that even advertisers are catching on and using it for music in commercials. AOL's current commercial, for example, has the same basic fucking song playing in the background the whole time.

So, uh, yeah this Busted stuff sure does rock.

You Said No

Gringo told me this shit was supposed to be pop-punk but I'm finding that hard to believe. It just sounds like pussy gay-rock to me. These guys have really great lyrics like "Cuz my life's! Such a bitch!" and "I asked you to dance at the disco...but you said no."

Interestingly enough, I can't tell that they're British. They don't appear to say "guvnor" in their songs and they don't sound anything like The Beatles. I'm confused.

Year 3000

I thought they said "ruddy boys" at one part in this song but Gringo tells me its actually "rowdy boys" which isn't as funny to me. They have a part in here about travelling to the future and discovering that there are "boy bands...and another one...and another one." Hey that's pretty funny, making fun of boy bands when your band pretty much sounds like a boy band with live drums.

They also frequently mention how in the Year 3000 "not much is changed but they live underwater" and that "your great great great granddaughter is pretty fine." Finally, a more accurate representation of the future than H.G. Wells' The Time Machine. I commend Busted! They are scientists!

Sleeping With the Light On

This song (titled SLEPPING with the Light On by whoever made the MP3) appears to be Busted's depressing song. It's about breaking up with a girlfriend from the sound of it. That's a particularly original issue to address within the context of a rock music song, I must say.

They say "I feel the paaaiiIIIIIiiinn!!!" at one part. I cry for the members of Busted whose hearts have clearly been BUSTED one too many times!!!

Overall Impression

When Gringo first mentioned Busted to me, I imagined a band that's lyrics consisted entirely of insults followed by the yelling of the word "BUSTED!!" For example, "Your mother smells! (DUNDUDNUDN ROCK MUSIC) BUSTED!!!!! Your face is ugly!!! (DUNUDNDUNDUDUN MORE ROCK AND A DRUMROLL) BUSTED!!!!" Well, this is what I hoped the band would be like anyway.

Unfortunately, Busted is instead really gay rock that is borderline boy band material. This pussy rock hardly even stands up to the pussy punk pop we have over here in the states. I truly think Blink-182 could kick Busted's ass and nobody's scared of fucking Blink-182.

I sincerely hope Busted doesn't make it over to Das Amerikas because we already have enough of this cliché wussy pop rock crap. Of course, if they actually do come here, it won't be very hard for me to ignore them so I can't say I truly care all that much. Although, if they do stay out my country, I can make my idea of what a band called Busted should be into a reality!!! LOOK FOR US ON STAR SEARCH!!!!!!


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