Metallica: St. Anger
Review By: ShootTheWeasel

Let's start off by saying hello! I am ShootTheWeasel! My name is extra cleverfun because it's actually a command, not a name! SO SILLY I AM! Anyway, ON WITH THE REVIEW!

Metallica has been around for a long time! TOO LONG, I SAY! I don't even know how they come up with as much material as they have. You'd think that they could only say so much about themselves and rehash in only so many ways that the maximum number of albums they could release would be 3. OH, I SOOOO WRONG NOW! Instead they put out 281723619836 albums that sold 981274709140798214621987246419872363 copies each. I used to like good music before I was dragged into the world of Metallica.

My childhood innocence was lost when I turned on MTV at age 12 and was exposed to the raging bangering of Metallica's "Until It Sleeps". I thinked to self "This is OK sound! I want more!" so I went out and bought Load, then Reload, then ...And Justice For All and years later Iiiiiiiii realized I had made a mistake. Metallica isn't a very good band unless you are drunk and in a big group not paying attention to the generic sounding head-bang music in the background.


We really liked Napster, honest!

So it has been ages since I heard anything from Metallica other than that live CD with the orchestra, but no one really thought that one counted as anything. They lost their bass player and replaced him with producer Bob Rock and now they replaced Bob with some guy from Suicidal Tendencies. It doesn't make different who plays the bass to me because it's just one instrument collaborating with 9812 other instruments, so who cares?

Anyway, they recently released the supposedly highly anticipated St. Anger with its first single being the title track. Everyone is going crazynuts about the new sound, and so I decided, in all my infinite wisdom(lack there of) to purchase this fruity new music explosion of rock. I discovered that I get an extra goodie with it: a DVD with the band playing all the songs off the CD at a rehearsal! YAY! I put the CD into my stereo and listen to all 11 songs that last 75 minutes. I am exhausted by the time I have finished but I care not! I go down and get some food and drink because I haven't had any all day and I evaluate what I have just experienced. RESULT: DO NOT WASTE YOUR MONEY UNLESS YOU ENJOY A GOOD CRAPFEST!!

FUCK YOU METALLICA!


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