Grandaddy
Review By: Fionn

Just imagine one day you're sitting in the doctor's surgery, or a café - yes a café, more accessible for the kids. Anyhoo, you're sitting there minding your own business, when you look and spot - shock horror - country/rock/electro superstar Neil Young sitting opposite you!! While reeling from this most mediocre of surprises, imagine your double shock as the rock/pop/weird group the Eels walk in and rape Mr. Young in front of you (actually he wants it, so not technically rape).

As the Eels hurriedly leave the premises, your shock quadruples as a small mutilated child/bastard/thing climbs from between from Mr. Young's legs (shocking because A; everyone things he's a guy B; the baby was born in a matter of seconds). Anyway, while trying to contain your shock (this is going somewhere) the stranger than thou/rock(?)/weirdoes Radiohead enter and touch up the baby thing.

This mutilated child, having been brought into the world unwanted and touched up by the biggest weirdoes in the music world, grows up (in a few hours; it was born in seconds, and so should grow quick. It dies aged 8 weeks) and becomes Grandaddy, the weird strange weirdo.

Sooooo, Grandaddy, what can we say about him - other than he sounds like Neil Young, and the Eels, with a touch of Radiohead - well, quite a lot actually. Actually no, not much to tell the truth other than; 1) he evidently has children, who also have children of their own, 2) his music is annoying, when it's potentially good (The Crystal Lake) it's ruined by gay ass samples wooing-and-a-wawing all over its mediocrity.

This kind of thing annoys me. Radiohead are the ultimate culprits:

Radiohead member (bassist, say): Hey look, Thom, we've made a cool new song that might make people believe we are good again.

Thom Yorke: Yes! Now let's cover it in off beat piano solos and samples of my mother's kitchen being invaded by the men from her toaster.

Radiohead member (bassist, say): Ummmmmm, well...

Thom Yorke: DO IT.

Radiohead member (bassist, say): You have a gay name.

Or something to that effect (you may ask yourself why I included that non-amusing, off point and frankly stupid aside. It's because I have noticed all reviews on sites like these tend to include them somewhere).

Anyway, 3) He can't spell. The album I have is called the "Sophtware Slump". There is no 'p' in software. I hate people who can't spell. And Mormons.

And that's about all a bored individual such as myself has to say about it.


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