White Christmas

A review packed with delightful holiday cheer. Kind of.

The Simpsons Movie

Everything you expected and nothing more.

Transformers

Check out this super-advance copy of the screenplay for Michael Bay's next stunning epic...'SPLOSIONS!!!!

Ratatouille

Based on a true, uninteresting story (the review, not the movie).

Knocked Up

But I get...down again?

Day Night Day Night

Boring Stupid Boring Stupid

Grindhouse

I don't want you seeing that Rodriguez boy anymore. He's bad news. With a capital Mexican.

My Little Bride

This was originally written in Korean by the same writer but translated to the best of ability.

The Hills Have Eyes 2

A wondrous collaboration!!!

300

Just add titties.

Black Snake Moan

Brown Llama Fart

Zombie

Lauren wastes my time and yours. Indecipherable pictures included!

The Queen

Well, on the bright side, this doesn't contain any spoilers.

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints

Personally, I choose to ignore mine.

The Science of Sleep

I will stop using outdated humor about abstract concepts like "freedom" and "terrorists" as soon as the administration does. Wait, what do you mean they were not trying to be funny?