Blade
Review By: Joe

Listen, I am pissed off and here's why. You know that movie Blade that is about Wesley Snipes as a half-man half-vampire going around killing other vampires? Well people seem to like it! I've heard people say it's cool! But you know what? I don't get this! Because I don't think it is good at all! I think it's crappy!

The lines in this movie are all corny and try to be cool and everything Wesley Snipes does is similar. He also doesn't seem like a very good actor to me. I don't know, he was in that White People Can't Do Things movie, right? I don't remember that well enough. Anyway, he sucks in this and the villain is the fruitiest basket of mixed fruit that I have ever seen and is not cool. Also he is white and he thinks he is cooler than white but he isn't because he's just a white man.

I feel like this movie isn't good but it is very overly violent, to the point of being rather ridiculous. This doesn't make it good in my mind. I dunno, maybe I am the crazy one. OH BLOOD COMES DOWN FROM THE SPRINKLERS NOW THAT IS SOME BLADE FOR YOU. Also, at the end Blade drinks that stupid girl's blood for like FIFTEEN MINUTES and then the girl wanders around like she's woozy for maybe two minutes and then after that she seems to be functioning completely normally. Stupid!

How come they made a sequel to this (I have not seen it because I don't care) when it isn't good? How come people like to see these movies? The ending line to this one is so stupid. It's not a good ending line in any way but just a "THERE WILL BE A BLADE 2 BECAUSE OUR SUCCESS IS ASSURED." "Ohohohohohhhhhh make me a better serum my name is Wesley." They are apparently also making a Blade 3. It is called Blade Trinity probably because Trinity is in The Matrix and they said "Hey here is an idea. Trinity implies three of something anyway." Let me tell you. That is what I think.


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