Review By: Joe

GOOD GOD, I HATE THIS MOVIE!!! Have you seen this tripe?! It's some romantic comedy bullshit with Goldie Hawn (who is now TWO THOUSAND YEARS OLD) and some hunk or something, Kurt Russell, maybe? I don't fucking know! I don't give a shit! God, this movie sucks!

It is about Goldie Hawn who is some rich bitch with a birthmark on her ass! She falls off a boat and loses her memory so Kurt Russell KIDNAPS HER AND MAKES HER INTO HIS WIFE/SERVANT and she has to deal with his naughty 3 Ninjas-esque children! She goes on fire at one part and gets shot with water at another! Later, she gets her memory back but decides that she loves the guy who kidnapped her more and who is poor so she will go back to him because she gets to keep the cash money anyway! What?!

THIS MOVIE IS SO STUPID I HATE IT SO MUCH. It's on ALL THE FUCKING TIME. It's always shown on channels like TNT and the Supahstation and the WB! And it SUCKS JUST AS MUCH EVERY TIME. My mom likes to watch it! I'm all like, "WHAT THE FUCK THIS SUCKS, I HATE IT?!" She's all like "Oh lalala so happy!" FUCKING SHIT! I hate this goddamned stupid movie I never want to see it again! Ever!!! LIFE IS PAIN!!!

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