Rollerball
Review By: Joe

Okay, I will level with you. This is another one of those movies I haven't actually seen. In fact, at the time of this writing, it isn't out yet. However, the ads I've seen for it on television have told me more than enough. This is some movie about some sport OF THE FUTURE!! with rollerblades and killing or something. It is action packed! But I do not care about that. Here is what matters.

LL Cool J is in this movie. LL Cool J is one of those music artists that some Hollywood producer type looked at and say "HEY! I bet, for no reason at all, that this guy can act as good as he raps!! Which means his acting ability must be...uhhhh...cast him now!" Now I saw a little bit of Deep Blue Sea which was an absolutely atrocious movie (I have not seen it all but its atrocity was quite clear) in which LL plays the roll of "Really Stupid Black Guy." Seriously, he like walks around talking to Jesus as the shark tries to eat him. It was stupid. Everyone likes "Momma Said Knock You Out" though. That's a good song.

Anyway, LL's acting ability isn't really what's at stake here. The big problem I have with his role in the movie is one event that is shown in pretty much every ad for the film, usually right around the end of it. It involves LL sticking his face in the face of another individual, shaking his lips, and making the following noise: "BRRBBDBRBBBRDBRB!!!" This annoys me immensely. How stupid looking it is. I now dislike the whole movie and refuse to give it a chance.

Don't see this movie unless you like seeing rappers going "BRRDDRBRBRBDRBD!!" If Gringo can find a video or sound clip of this event from the film, he will put it right here. Otherwise, these last two sentences are completely useless.


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