Listen To Me - Transfomers ('Splosions)

	Transformers Review By: Joe 'SPLOSIONS A Michael Bay Film FADE IN: EXT. A PLACE A place. There is a road. This is important because the cars are going to come down it very fast. We hear a SOUND. It is the cars. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. CUT TO: EXT. AVERAGE SCHOOL HIGH SCHOOL An average high school. There are children here. Grass too, probably. FREDDY MCCOOLSAUCE, a young man, is talking to his BLACK FRIEND. EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF FREDDY!!! FREDDY Sometimes I just think my life is not great because there isn't action? Black Friend gestures wildly and pretty much screams his lines. ALWAYS. EXTREME CLOSE-UP OF BLACK FRIEND!!!!! BLACK FRIEND What! You are a crazy white boy! My grandmomma don't like me havin' no action! I about to slap you! ECU FREDDY!!!! FREDDY That's a good point, BF. You are always a good point. (can be rewritten during filming, but this is the gist) Just then... 'SPLOSION!!!!! ECU 'SPLOSION!!!!!!!! ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. CUT TO: EXT. THE PLACE WHERE THE HOT GIRL IS STANDING A place. This is a good place for a hot girl to stand and, what do you know, the HOT GIRL is standing there. Freddy parachutes in because it looks cooler to do that. ECU HOT GIRL!!!!!! HOT GIRL Wow! Hello! Who are you?! ECU FREDDY!!!!!!!!! FREDDY The name is Freddy! But you can call me Fred because it is less syllables and therefore MORE ACTION!!! What's your name?! ECU HOT GIRL'S TITS!!!!!!! HOT GIRL That's not important!! ECU FREDDY!!!!!!!! FREDDY You're right! ECU HOT GIRL'S ASS!!!!!!! HOT GIRL Did you hear the 'splosion earlier?!? ECU FREDDY!!!! FREDDY Hear it!? I was adjacent to it and my life got flipped, turned upside-down as a direct result of it!!! ECU HOT GIRL'S CAMEL TOE!!!!!!!!!! HOT GIRL That is so interesting! Or should I say actioning!!? (NOTE: She should say actioning.) Please tell me mo- Just then... SEVERED HEAD COMES FLYIN' IN FROM NOWHERE!!!!! ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. During a break in action, we see Hot Girl and Freddy slowly reach toward each other and hold hands. ECU HOT GIRL!!!!!!!! HOT GIRL Maybe it is just my hormones acting up as a result of all this high-octane action, but I have never met anyone like you! ECU FREDDY!!!!!!!!! FREDDY Sure, why not? They lean in to kiss. Just then... BLACK FRIEND SCREECHES TO A STOP IN A SOUPED UP [SPONSORSHIP PENDING] CAR!!! ECU FREDDY!!!!! FREDDY Aw! Why do you have to hate, BF? ECU BLACK FRIEND!!!!!!! BLACK FRIEND Get in! They's no time to explain! Hot Girl and Freddy pile into the car FAST! ECU BLACK FRIEND!!!!!! BLACK FRIEND (CONT'D) Aw sheeeeyyt! Grandmomma gon be pissed if'n I late fo suppah!!! The car screeches and speeds off! Fucking ROCK MUSIC kicks in!!! ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. CUT TO: INT. SECRET LAIR ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. CUT TO: EXT. DESERT ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. CUT TO: EXT. PLACE #2 Ass-rapingly rocktastic ROCK MUSIC kicks in!!!! ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. CUT TO: INT. UNDERGROUND BASE. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. SUPERHACKER I NEED SOME METAL WIRE AND SOME CAT HAIR TO REVERSE THIS POLARITY!!!!! ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. FADE TO BLACK. FADE IN: EXT. PICTURESQUE MOUNTAINTOP ROMANTIC SEQUENCE. WILL IMPROVISE DURING FILMING. ECU BLACK FRIEND!!!!!! BLACK FRIEND Awwww dyyaaaammnnsnap!! Mah boy Fred about to get a little sumptin' sumptin'!!! Black Friend's cell phone RINGS. ECU BLACK FRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!! BLACK FRIEND (CONT'D) Hello!? AWWW SHEETS!! I'm sorry, grandmomma, I'm sorry! URBAN DIALOGUE. SEE BLACK GAFFER. Everybody LAUGHS. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST. FADE OUT. CREDITS. ACTION SEQUENCE. SEE CGI SPECIALIST.

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