28 Days Later
Review By: Joe

Well, I done finally up and saw this film here and I tell you what! Suck a dick! I am soooo cool for to say these things. This movie is about a lad in Brittania what wakes up in a 'ospital and discovers, coffer!, there's no people livin' 'ere no more! I mean it's completely deserted, it is! Cor! This is also a zombie movie, except not really because the people aren't dead they're just infected, is what, infected with rage, mind you because there was a laboratory seeing how pissed off they could get monkeys to be and a bunch of stupid environmentalists let them out and UNLEASHED THE PLAGUE!!! You know, like in Outbreak.

Anyway, I am just reviewing this movie because there seems to be quite a few people harboring the belief that this film is ingenious and brilliant and, you know what, I DON'T AGREE! Take THAT, world! Everybody is interested!

This movie is OK. OK. I was entertained by it, more or less. That is all. Frankly, I don't see what's so super-awesome about it though. Some shots are crazy and fast and jumpy and it is difficult to see what is going on. This look works for a lot of the movie (FOR FRANTICITY!) but in action parts it sometimes just makes you go "Wuhhh? Peter Jackson, quit yo moonlightin'!" Also, the story has some holes, it do. In the first place, why do you need to make monkeys angry? Hmm? That one monkey watching the TV is going to be Blanka, no? He is! Actually, another movie that has some rage-inspiring drug is Jacob's Ladder (although there is no biting there). I like that movie much better.

Also, how come London is all deserted? Not that it isn't a cool effect, but I mean I know they say that there was an evacuation but the girlie also says that the evacuation happened too late which means to me that almost everyone turned into Blankas. So, really, there should be zombie-rage-people everywhere, not tons of desertion. I find it difficult to believe that the protagonists could even have large expanses of time where they are able to walk more or less calmly throughout the city without getting their asses attacked. Asses!

The original Britisher ending of this film apparently didn't test well with happy-sappy Americanos and their need for everything to wrap up nicely with smiles. Always the puppy licking the face! Always the quarterback scoring the touchdown to win the big game! As a result, we get a super-positive ending. However, the original ending is included on the DVD (along with three others!!!! One has a chicken in it). Honestly, though, all the different endings didn't really have much of an impact on my overall impression of the film so I can't really say I favor one over another (well, the radical one is a bit retarded).

So, my overall opinion of this movie? It was OK. It was short. I have no reason to watch it ever again. It's far from perfect. Anyone notice how the lead guy suddenly gains the ability to become extremely gung-ho and awesomely stealthy at the end? Where he get all that badassity from, eh? It's also far from brilliant. It's a damn zombie movie. I mean I get all the metaphors for war and stuff and humans killing other humans (it's not as though it's flat-out SPELLED OUT FOR YOU in any of the characters' lines or anything) but I'm still not overly impressed. Oh, and for those that claimed otherwise, it's also not scary in the least.

Trainspotting is better.

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