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November 27th, 2003
Helping Other Candidates To Suck

BOSTON, Massachussetts - Independent candidate for President Sheriff Gringo today revealed he is working with other websites in an attempt to improve the democratic process. Proving he reaches out to anyone - regardless of how geeky and friendless they may be - he is urging his voters to follow his example.

The Sheriff is happy to lend his support to John Kerry Sucks, an anti-Presidential campaign site. The aim of the genius running the site is clear: stop Mr Kerry becoming President. That's something Gringo's happy to support, as long as the Sheriff ends up the one wielding power in the White House.

Also this month, following in the tradition of money-grabbing Presidential candidates Kerry and Howard Dean - and money-grabbing President George Bush - Sheriff Gringo vowed to accept whatever donations people send his way. Click on the dollar bill logo to your right to give your support in money, from $1 to $1,510,001.

Meanwhile, Gringo is happy to announce that membership on the mailing list for his Presidential campaign has soared to sensational double figures. This is fantastic news for the candidate and his supporters. Instead of blushing when they get those reminders from the porn websites they subscribed to, they get to read about Gringo on a monthly basis!

The map above shows you the states where supporters live who have signed up for the mailing list. Why not do the same today? Well, why not? Are you the sort of lazy, feckless oaf who thinks Gringo will get elected on wishful thinking alone? Then change your attitude, you pathetic waste of space!

Sign up for the list today! Just put your e-mail address and state in the form at the top right of this page. Right now, the Sheriff is busy preparing for an upcoming town hall debate where he'll face off against a cat, a shoe and a wine-soaked hobo, but he promises a second campaign video next month as an alleged Christmas treat. Be there!

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