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April 20th, 2004
Gringo Answers Back

LAS VEGAS, Nevada - Sheriff Gringo's e-mail inbox has been quite literally receiving e-mails! This past month not only did another wise voter sign up for the campaign mailing list, but Gringo got two chances to prove he won't pander to special interests and lobbyists! And that he loves exclamation marks!

First of all, Ms. Leanna Golden, who lives in Las Vegas and allegedly eats babies and hides in your closet waiting to jump out and scream "GRRRRRRRR!" sent the candidate an e-mail. What was she writing about? Why, only trying to bribe the Sheriff by offering a part in her shifty operation, that's what!

From : Leanna Golden (
To : (
Subject : advancement opportunity

Are you one of the millions of people searching
for a safe, ethical, secondary residual income?

Are you looking for a permanent solution?
Do you want more for yourself and your family?

We wanted more too, and now we are living our dreams$$!!
We will show you how to get there ethically, with n.o. r.i.s.k.!

No MLM No Risk
Stable Company Track Record!!!!

The Sheriff doesn't take offers of illegal second wages lightly, and promptly fired off a reply to Ms. Golden. In it, he expertly told her to have sex with herself while heading away from Gringo. In other words, he hit the reply button and simply wrote the words "fuck off". And look, Leanna, NO MLM in his reply! Your words really do mean something!

But Gringo welcomes messages from everyone and anyone, even if they are slimy junk mail senders who deserve to be stoned to death. And to prove the point, the Sheriff was more than happy to consider another message, this time from Mrs. Burta Hurd, a name that seems to conjure up the image of a fat bitch.

From : Berta Hurd (
To : (
Subject : Free credit report analysis


Is your credit score stopping you from getting good rates on your auto or home
loans? Did you know that raising your credit score just a couple of points
could make the difference of $100 a month on your auto loan? That's an extra
$1200 a year savings.

The difference on a home loan can be well over $600 a month. Why pay extra
when you don't have to?

Let us show you how to legally remove all the bad items on your credit report.
Using the laws that are given to us, our team of lawyers will dispute the
negative items on your credit report on your behalf. Our techniques are proven
and we offer a FULL money back guarantee.

If you are looking to improve your credit score, just a little or even
dramatically, we are the ones that can do it for you.

No charge consultation. Let us see if we can help you.........we know we can.
We have effectively removed

- Foreclosures
- Bankruptcies
- Repossessions
- Late Payments
- Charge offs

These things can be removed legally and we can do it for you. Supply us your
information and we can prove it to you.

No, fat woman! Gringo's credit score is great! His supporters don't have to worry about him cashing in their money and then doing a runner. The Sheriff is funding the entire campaign through kind donations and money he has, uh, borrowed from Samuel Peahead, bank manager of New Jersey's El Town.

Despite Berta's convoluted e-mail address, the Sheriff fired off a response to her, demanding she sign up to his campaign mailing list. After all, even fat women who like bribery deserve a second chance. Are you fat? Are you evil? Then make like Berta and join the Sheriff's race for the White House!

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