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July 27th, 2004
Video Killed The Compassionate Conservative Star

BOSTON, Massachusetts - Two exciting pieces of news this month! Firstly, a new campaign video, the third so far, is unveiled today. This one focuses on the impact President Bush has had during his first term and points the way to a solution: electing Sheriff Gringo. Go watch it, then go get your friends to watch it! If you don't have friends, buy some!

Already, staff are hard at work on the fourth and final campaign video, likely to feature the Sheriff's running mate. Discussions are still ongoing about who is going to take up the challenge of losing their dignity and running alongside Gringo, but at least they won't outshine their party's Presidential candidate (hint: John Edwards).

On the subject of running mates, the Sheriff Gringo For President campaign is pleased to announce the results of an extensive and expensive new poll into voters' intent when given the choice of John Kerry and John Edwards (D), George W. Bush and Dick Cheney (R) and Sheriff Gringo (I).

We didn't include Ralph Nader (I) because he's a freak. Regardless, the poll results make for interesting viewing! Even without a declared running mate, Gringo polls 1000%, compared to 1% for the Democrat and Republican teams. Whether these numbers will maintain until election day remains to be seen.

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