Megaman Battle Network 2
Review By: Jeff

Today, happy discussion with magical journey to land of fortune in Megaman Battle Network 2!Explore hi-res graphic inter-web, achieve honor with Megaman and clear the way for Army of Obedience to smash opposition and bring sunshine smiles to all. Your ancestral journey awaits, take flight with Gameboy Advance and deliver souls of fallen samurai to peace or face decisive termination, YOU CAN DO NO LESS!

I'd like to take this time to apologize to anyone I may have offended with the opening paragraph so here goes: I'm sorry your birth defect prevents you from being able to find humor in jokes, even bad ones such as this, please do not breed for the world would be better off. OK, now that we got petty politics out of the way lets get down to business.

Megaman Battle Network 2 follows in the Capcom tradition of releasing the same fucking game over and over again. While not a bad thing, as the original was quite good , it does show that the good people over at Capcom of Japan are indeed, Pimps. Yes, second only to George Lucas, Capcom has pimped out its characters in numerous sequels with the soul purpose of making a quick buck with titles like Resident Evil: Fun Activity Zone Jr., Street Fighter 2- Super Hyper Turbo Fighting Championship Edition Alpha EX Plus and Capcom VS NAACP. So even though MBN2 falls into Capcom's pit of regurgitated goodness it is in no way a bad game just a good on with a few flaws.

Once again, players assume the role of Lan Hikari and his Navi, Megaman, as they go camping and save the world from an evil organization called GOSPEL. I guess the translators realized that calling it TREBLE would confuse others to think the object of the game was to properly setup your stereo and get the most out of your speakers. Original series translation references aside, that's really all there is to the story, you're told about GOSPEL in the beginning and then its just "Let's beat these bitches!" until the closing credits. Not surprising though, I don't think they'll ever top Mega Man 5's story: "Dr. Light has been kidnapped by Protoman. Are you a bad enough dude to rescue Dr. Light?" you can cut the originality with a chainsaw.

The game itself takes place in a pseudo 3D type location filled with pastel colors and meddling kids. Both Lan and Megaman have there own world to inhabit, Lan's being real and Megaman's being the internet. Lan's world is where most of the game takes place and your free to explore at your leisure until some wacky event occurs such as the toaster exploding or a klan rally both of which are caused by viruses that must be killed before another crazy scenario starts.

When it's time to fight viruses, Lan must first jack-in Megaman (I thought this was a family game) to the matr...er...internet and make him kill everything that moves or else he'll get hit with the magnets again. Meanwhile in the internet, Megaman is prone to death and as such must defend himself with violence in the form of random battles taking place on two 3X3 grids (one for him and one for those other people).At the beginning of each battle, a chip menu appears and players can select from a list of five to use in the fight for justice.

Come to think of it, this part takes a while to explain and I really don't want to so I'll just say keep shooting until they die like the pansies they are and leave it at that. Anyway, after spreading joy and good tidings to your defeated friends, sometimes they'll drops chips based on their attacks and by putting these chips into your active folder, you can now use them when and if they're randomly selected for your next battle.

While beating on those the fun loving hard-hat creatures is fun and all, sometimes you just want to fight updated versions of old Megaman Robot Masters who are coincidently included in this very game, AMAZING! These guys are usually the cause of the current problem plaguing the good peons of the real world and their immediate destruction will always solve the prediciment and advance the story so you can get back to some hot jacking action.

Graphically, Sound-wise and uh Controlabilididdly, MBN2 is the same as the first. New graphics exists for the new key characters, Robot Masters and locations, I can't remember if there were any black people in the original but there are a couple in this and one of the new areas is filled with retarded people who can't form a decent sentence. Some music is repeated from MBN1 but there are enough new tracks to compensate for the pain caused by the irritating ACDC town theme. As for the controls well it's exactly the same as before A is talk/use chip, B is run/shoot, the R button is for jacking on/off/chip menu, the L button is for advise/chip menu/run and the directional pad...well...it moves you, like a good movie about a cop that takes on a building full of terrorists with the fat black guy from Family Matters.

Altogether, Megaman Battle Network 2 is decent game worthy of a sequel which I believe will be out soon, cause nobody shits out sequels faster than Capcom!


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