War Of The Monsters
Review By: Joe

Hey, fags! I got somethin to say!! I have a subscription to the Official Playstation Magazine (OPM). I mostly keep this subscription going not for the magazine (there are farts inside of it), but because it comes with a funky fresh demo DVD EACH BLOODY MONTH!! On this DVD you usually get some crap and, sometimes, some sweet demos too! Well, with the January 2003 issue of OPM, my geeksubscription finally paid off! IN DROVES, MOTHAFUCKAH! On this demo DVD I got demos of not only the sweetness that is Burnout 2 and Shinobi but on top of all that, a little game called WAR OF THE MIZZONSTERS, BABY!!! Let me tell you this now: this game is THE SHIT.

Have any of you butties ever played that Gamecube game, Godzilla: Destroy All Monsters Melee? Any of you??? Well, how about King of the Monsters (which I believe was for Genesis)?? Hello? Anybody??? WHY YOU NO ANSWER!!?? Anyway, I haven't gotten a chance to play these games but I understand that they are very similar to War of the Monsters. Here is the difference: King of the Monsters is old and 2D and I understand that that Godzilla game has some flaws. WAR OF THE MONSTERS HAS NONE. IT IS PERFECTION IN A HAT.

Let me explain to you how I know these things! You see, War of the Monsters is not even out yet and usually it is my practice to bash things before they are out but in this case I GIVE PRAISE. Frankly, just the DEMO is one of the most addictive frigging things I have gotten to play in recent memory. All my friends and I up at college did for weeks after procuring the demo is play the game TO DEATH. You see?! It did not only ensnare me! It also absorbed the souls of my friends! Keep in mind that in the demo we only got ONE level and TWO CHARACTERS. And we STILL played the two player versus mode AGAIN AND AGAIN AND AGAIN. In addition, if anybody walked in the room while we were playing this game they would stop in their tracks and remain fixated on the television for a good amount of time just watching! YOU SEE?! This game is AWESOME.

Let me just quickly tell you what the game is like. Basically, you get a monster (some of which are knockoffs of famous movie monsters) and you fight another monster in the middle of a city (although I've seen a volcano level which is FUCKING COOL). You can break pretty much EVERYTHING and it's simply ultracool the first time you see one monster pick the other one up and throw him into a building, sending it crashing down. SWEETNESS! You can also pick up tons of stuff and use it as a weapon.

For example, a girder is nice as a beatin' bat (you can actually bat things back at your enemies with it if they throw stuff at you if you time it right) and a gas truck to the face = BIG TIME EXPLOSION!!! Frankly, there's so much cool shit possible in this game that we kept finding more and more stuff within it as we played it and, I must state this once again, THIS WAS ONLY THE DEMO.

The only negative points I have to make about the game (and they aren't all even really valid as I'm only playing a demo) is that the two characters we had available to us, the King Kong rip-off and some electrical eyeball guy, are grossly unbalanced. Simply put, the eyeball is just SO much faster and better in almost every way and it's quite irritating. Of course, this could change in the full game and, if it doesn't, at least there will be more characters available so it will be less of an issue.

Another negative thing is (and this IS true for the full game) you can only have two human players playing at a time. You can put in computer-controlled characters in addition to you and a friend but only two human players can truly compete. I read that this was because it wasn't very complimentary to the gameplay because of the fact that when you get further away from your opponent, the view switches to split-screen and four splits would be a troublenasty. However, I bet it is also partially because of the fact that the PS2 is TECHNOLOGICALLY INFERIOR. I still loves it likes mah babeh, though.

You have Playstation 2? You have friend? You have brain?! THEN BUY THIS GAME WHEN IT COMES OUT ON THE 16TH OF THIS MONTH (JANUARY)!!! IT IS MADE BY THE SAME GUYS WHO DID TWISTED METAL 1, 2, AND BLACK. YOU NEED MORE PROOF?! FUCK YOU! BUY THE GAME! IT COMES OUT THURSDAY (unless I've been lied to)!! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU! FUCK YOU!


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