Carnivores 2
Review By: Ross

Everyone loves killing animals for no reason, right? And everyone loves dinosaurs, right? So why not kill dinosaurs for no reason! This is appparently the thought process that the developers of Carnivores 2 went through. It's a lot like Deer Hunter, but also a lot like a run-of-the-mill FPS, and in the end can't seem to decide which it's more like.

The 'story' behind this game is that humanity has discovered another planet where dinosaurs have evolved again. Apparently, instead of sending scientists to study them, we're going to send crazy men with guns out to kill them! Success!

There's an array of maps, dinosaurs and weapons you can choose from, which all cost a certain point value. You accumulate points by killing dinosaurs. I cheated, because I wanted to get eaten as soon as possible.

That took a while. The levels are gigantic, which is good because it gives you a bit of freedom, but as a result there's, uh, not any dinosaurs. You see this? You see any dinosaurs?

I understand the premise is to hunt them down and making them easy to find would defeat the purpose, but this is a little ridiculous. I don't know how they expect me to find a goddamned dinosaur that's doing everything in its power to stay as far awar from me as possible, and empty three or four shells into it. After I edited the conspicious config file, I was able to get access to everything. It didn't make it any easier at all to find shit to kill.

There's two categories of dinosaurs, ones that give you points and ones that don't. Of course, there's tons and tons of the latter everywhere, and almost zero of the former. It's still fun to shoot them, though.

I've only died twice while playing this. The first time was rather unexciting. I was standing on a hill, and I saw a dinosaur off in the distance. I got a little closer, and it ran around spasmodically. Then it changed direction, and I thought "Is it running at me? I can't really tell. Maybe I should shoot at it." One "NIORT!" sound later and I was lying in the ground twitching with a dinosaur on top of me. The second time I was trying to die, because I needed a picture of that for this review. Here it is:

Why is it, that despite movies like Jurrasic Park 1, 2, and 3, Arthur Conan Doyle's The Lost World, and every other movie with dinosaurs in it, people continue to try to fuck with them? Here's a picture I drew of that.

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