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Phen Lie-All
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 6:50 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 312

If Tiffany ever reads this I would just like her to know that she is an idiot as are all Mormons. I was invited by missionaries to a LDS church and I went over on Sunday out of sheer curiosity. My thoughts were, "Hey, they're like a secret cult and I bet they can do magic!" I was immediately disappointed upon entry and being forced to listen to a rather pointless lecture on compassion. We then discussed faith and some crap. I tried to tell the odd joke but no one was laughing. Ultimately, it was pretty boring.

If I go to church I at least want hellfire and brimstone sermons on why Jews and homosexuals will burn in Hell. That's the kind of thing I'm used to. Mormons seem to be all about tolerance and they even thanked me for being "open-minded". I almost wanted to strap explosives unto my person and detonate myself and their heathen practises upon hearing that. Open-minded is just not my thing. I'm a Baptist fundie damnit! The Book of Moron also sucks.

Still, there were some hot chikas in attendance but you have to marry them to get sex. I think not.
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FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 7:07 pm  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 901

I guess they come off as very nice people and they claim to be open-minded, but I think, and this is definitely to some degree conjecture on my part, they more mean "Thank you for being open-minded and coming to hang out at our crazy church with us." Rest assured, they quite dislike homosexuals and allowing women to do stuff. Not huge fans of the blacks either, from what I understand.

You want CRAAAZY Mormons you need to go hang out with some fundamentalist ones. The regular LDS church denies having any connection with the fundamentalist Mormons. They're the ones who marry fifty women and do everything based on what some old guy says (as opposed to the LDS church, which is a group of old guys).

But Mormonism is a decidedly not magic religion. They're just exceptionally well-versed in bullshit. I think the most magic thing that they do is get messages from God telling them to do crap, which is really more like "Boy, I'd really like a new bike...I wonder if GOD wants me to have a new bike. Let me pray and axe him bout dat....hmmmm hmmmmmmm yes praying hmmm WOW! God wants me to have a bike TOO! I'd best go buy!!!"

I'm not positive, but I think members of the regular church do this as well. But then the fundamentalists probably do it more. Like to justify murder, to pick something TOTALLY AT RANDOM.
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JCC
PostPosted: Mon May 28, 2007 8:28 pm  Reply with quote
Internet Jesus


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 36
Location: The Nation

I usually humor them when they do their door-to-door bullshit. I've ended up with at least five copies of the Book of Mormon that way, as well as some video about families that I've never gotten around to watching.

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USAgent
PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:01 pm  Reply with quote
Professorman Johnson
Professorman Johnson


Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 252
Location: The Great USA

I hate them so much.

I wish they would come around like Clint Eastwood. As they're reppin' they're hood in my neck uv da woods.

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Arguing with the cops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off.
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PK
PostPosted: Mon Jun 04, 2007 11:41 pm  Reply with quote
Steven!
Steven!


Joined: 30 May 2007
Posts: 53
Location: NJ

There really ought to be a church of LSD. That'll make you scared of the devil, as you'll see him far too often.
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USAgent
PostPosted: Tue Jun 05, 2007 1:45 am  Reply with quote
Professorman Johnson
Professorman Johnson


Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 252
Location: The Great USA

Kind of curve-balling around the topic but don't you feel it's ironic? Think about it; churches are made to practice religion.

Atheism, despite popular belief of shut up thank you isn't a religion but mere lack thereof. So, then...does that mean atheists go to church to practice not practicing religion?

I expect my doctorate by month's end.

_________________
Arguing with the cops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off.
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Phen Lie-All
PostPosted: Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:51 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 312

I think PK has the best idea.

But where do I meet some of those FUNDIE Mormons? In Canada? Actually, there are African churches here which allow polygamy so if you want to legally marry multiple black women this would be your best bet.

To make my disappointment complete, the other day I was walking down the street and two Morons saw me so we decided to have lunch together. So I thought to myself, "Oh, cool! This is where I get to see the human sacrifice and get to eat grits!" But we just walked over to McD's where I had a Quarter Pounder? Deluxe. The idjit from Colorado then went over to GM to see how his crappy car was doing.

He informed me he can only go where the church sends him. So he has only been to two hicktowns and some ghetto place. He eats at McD's and has his car serviced at GM. Why exactly did he ever leave Amerikwa? I don't understand.
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FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 9:42 am  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
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Yeah, there are some fundies in Canada. I think they're basically in a few pockets and that's about it. I dunno, I'm sure you can look that up using some sort of internet.
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Magdalene
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 11:45 am  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 184
Location: Michigan

The first presidency of the church prays to know where to send each missionary. Most people look forward to being sent out of the US because its a culture building experience and they can learn about more parts of the world, plus learn a new language. I don't remember where you live Phen, but I am positive both of those missionaries are very happy to be there. My husband served his mission in Japan and it completely changed his life. Even people who serve missions in the poorest places in mexico, argentina, or Alabama are grateful for the years they spent there, and refer to them as "the best two years."
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FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 12:12 pm  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 901

I would have to think they'd be the best two years because they'd not be in Utah for once. Ah, to travel and learn about another culture and then attempt to persuade its people to abandon it.
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Magdalene
PostPosted: Tue Jun 12, 2007 2:39 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 184
Location: Michigan

oh my heck no kidding. I kind of feel missionaries should get more life experience before they go off to convert the world. If I had to live in Utah everyday, I think ANYWHERE would seem super awesome.
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Phen Lie-All
PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 7:56 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 312

Oh ho, so you are married! Well, congratulations.

Tiffany, I told the female missionary, by the name of Sister Bush, about you as you were about the only Mormon I knew. She was just like, "Oh, that's nice". She says I should get baptised AGAIN because my baptism in a Baptist church was not valid. Apparently.

I hate to say it but I think the Book of Mormon is making more sense the more I read. You have to take into account that it mostly happened in Mexico, specifically the Yucatan peninsula. The book of Mosiah and Alma seem to describe pyramids and the like. It seems too complicated for Joseph Smith to have just made up. I mean it makes as much sense as anything else in the Bible.
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FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 8:31 pm  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 901

I think Mormon stuff truly does make just about as much sense as any other religion. The difference is that it is so new and so heavily documented that it is a lot easier to poke holes in. Personally, if I was going to live my life based on something fantastical, I think I'd go for something shrouded in mythology, rather than a religion where people can directly point to documented bullfoolery.

This is not exactly related to the topic, but it's just something I find hilarious about Mormonism. It's actually considered the "American religion" and it makes sense that Americans so readily embraced it because this country has a history of self-importance. So when somebody comes up with a religion that basically says (and this is simplifying it), "Hey, remember all that awesome stuff Jesus did? What if he did it RIGHT IN YOUR OWN BACKYARD?!" Americans go "Wahey! I feel special! I'ma join this!!" I just think that is a gas.

I am not specifically trying to insult you, by the way, Tiffany, this is stuff I'd think about Mormonism regardless.
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Magdalene
PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 8:51 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 184
Location: Michigan

mosiah and alma are when it starts getting really good. i love king benjamin's speech in mosiah, and the part about Abinadai in Alma. I don't think sister Bush was right to tell you to get baptized, baptism is something you should only do if you really believe the teachings are true. I must warn you though, we never have fire and brimstone sermons because Mormons don't believe Hell is something most people can atain. I'll let my husband explain the baptism part because he is a lot more clear about things than I am.

The whole thing about having to get baptised again is a tough subject for a lot of people. We believe that baptism is more than just going in the water and coming out again just because Christ said to. It is a very important covenant you make with God. You promise to obey God's commandments and try your best to be a good person, and God promises to you blessings if you do. Since it's so important and sacred, you have to have authority from God to baptise someone. For instance, I was given the authority by my father, who got it from Kent Judkins, who got it from C. Brent Merril, who got it from Max H Martin, who got it from Karl Anthony Snow... from J. Milton Belisle, from Harold B. Lee, from Heber J Grant, from George Q. Cannon, from Brigham Young, who was given the authority from Oliver Cowdery, David Whitmer, and Martin Harris, who all got it from Joseph Smith, who was given the authority by Peter James, and John, who were given the authority from Christ himself.
I apologize for the long list and all that, but as you can see... that authority came from Jesus Christ, where your Baptist minister more than likely was given his authority by a school of religeon or the Baptist church, who don't believe God talks through prophets anymore. If they're right, and God doesn't use prophets anymore, then there's no problem with your old baptism. But if you believe that God called a prophet, just like he always did in the Bible, then it would make sense that what the prophet said was true.
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FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Sun Jun 17, 2007 10:16 pm  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 901

I thought being bapitized Baptist would be fine because the religion's name is "Baptist." I mean just being in that religion basically means you're baptized is how I understand it.
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