ListenToMe.net Forums Forum Index
Author Message
<  Listen To Me  ~  Let your mind wander in this topic
USAgent
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 10:50 pm  Reply with quote
Professorman Johnson
Professorman Johnson


Joined: 29 May 2007
Posts: 252
Location: The Great USA

When meeting an old man, like your grandpa's friend or some shit, how hard should you shake his hand?

Like if he has arthritis and his hands aren't that deformed yet, I could give what I think is a firm handshake but really I'm crushing his bones and then he yells out in pain and then is out of breath from yelling and he hasn't exercised in years so he has a stroke and it's my fault.

But the alternative is limp hand him, which would dishonor my family.

I'm glad I'm not Asian because then it would be like "Oh fuck do I disrespect an elder or do I dishonor my family? My calculator won't tell me this answer, I think I will go have some rice."

_________________
Arguing with the cops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message AIM Address Yahoo Messenger
BabyDragon'sMom
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:35 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 342
Location: Canada

Hahaha...

And THAT, my friend, is the question..

Thankfully, I'm a girl and I just give an all around middle of the road handshake. I find women with firm handshakes to be scary...but shaking hands with a limp hand is very disconcerting.

But with old people, it's a whole other story. They're used to a handshake as a common form of communication...people our age, not so much. They're more likely to get offended if it's not quite right. Hm.

Did this situation happen to you?
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Lauren2
PostPosted: Sun Dec 06, 2009 11:53 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 210

I would say go limp handed and dishonor your family. Your a pretty big D.Bag and they don't really except much from you anymore, so you haven't really got anything to lose. Good Luck.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 7:15 am  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 901

Quote:
I'm glad I'm not Asian because then it would be like "Oh fuck do I disrespect an elder or do I dishonor my family? My calculator won't tell me this answer, I think I will go have some rice."


This sounds racist, but it's more just true.


I'm really upset by how often I've done a limp-wristed handshake in my life. Well, it's not so much limp-wristed as it is that I'm too bashful to really SHOVE MY HAND ALL UP IN THERE, so what ends up happening, I'm not even kidding, probably about 75% of the time is that the other person basically just ends up with their whole hand around only my fingers. Needless to say, I'm sure the resultant shake strikes them as a touch underwhelming.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
Lauren2
PostPosted: Mon Dec 07, 2009 10:23 am  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 210

Sounds hot.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ookook
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 8:17 am  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 290
Location: YOUR BUTT HAHAAHAHAL OLOL

USAgent wrote:
When meeting an old man, like your grandpa's friend or some shit, how hard should you shake his hand?

Like if he has arthritis and his hands aren't that deformed yet, I could give what I think is a firm handshake but really I'm crushing his bones and then he yells out in pain and then is out of breath from yelling and he hasn't exercised in years so he has a stroke and it's my fault.

But the alternative is limp hand him, which would dishonor my family.

I'm glad I'm not Asian because then it would be like "Oh fuck do I disrespect an elder or do I dishonor my family? My calculator won't tell me this answer, I think I will go have some rice."


What you should do is while you shake his hand, you gauge the strength of HIS hand shake, and you match it accordingly. Go a little bit more firm than he does, if he seems like he can take it within the first second that your hands meet. If he goes limp handed, you can probably faux a firm handshake by having a firm stature instead. Even if your grip is weak(er than normal), a stiff wrist is still a part of that sort of handshake.

_________________
Everybody loves Joe's Girl ! =D
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
ookook
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:17 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 290
Location: YOUR BUTT HAHAAHAHAL OLOL

Also:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/handshakes

_________________
Everybody loves Joe's Girl ! =D
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
BabyDragon'sMom
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 9:21 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 342
Location: Canada

ookook wrote:
Also:
http://theoatmeal.com/comics/handshakes


Hahah brilliant! I want to learn how to shake with both hands....but is that very becoming of a woman? Meh...screw it!
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Wed Dec 09, 2009 11:58 pm  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 901

I guess my problem is the limp, dead fish.

Also, the hipster handshakes always fuck with me. I've met so many college people who try to do some kind of wacky fist bump or hand-grab + snapping combo or some variation that I never know what to expect and it always just ends up being an awkward failure.

Crying or Very sad
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message Send e-mail
BabyDragon'sMom
PostPosted: Fri Dec 11, 2009 2:25 am  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 342
Location: Canada

Hahah Joe, you crack me up.

I've had some of those never-ending handshakes too...where they just keep shaking and you're like um....right. My hand...you still have it.

The cartoon failed to mention those ultra awkward handshakes where one person leaves the other hanging. Has that ever happened to anyone? Where you just eventually put your hand back to your side, trying to convince yourself that this didn't actually just happen?

Edit: Nevermind...haha I looked at the cartoon again and just realized that the first time around I simply didn't understand the last frame. And now it's time for me to go to bed.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message
Phen Lie-All
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 2:01 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 312

A FIRM handshake is always necessary no matter what. Should you break that old geezer's hand and he dies from the pain it is considered a GOOD thing for there is no place for weakness in our barbarian culture. We do not bow like pathetic Asians for we are mighty, axe-wielding warriors borne from the snow and ice and therefore a firm handshake is indeed a mark of POWER.

I've been told I am quite the bonecrusher but since I am unable to feel my own handshake I can neither confirm nor deny these allegations.
Back to top
View user's profile Send private message MSN Messenger
Display posts from previous:   
All times are GMT - 5 Hours

View next topic
View previous topic
Page 1 of 1
ListenToMe.net Forums Forum Index  ~  Listen To Me

Post new topic   Reply to topic


 
Jump to:  

You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot vote in polls in this forum




Powered by phpBB and NoseBleed v1.08