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Phen Lie-All
PostPosted: Thu Dec 24, 2009 2:50 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 312

So, does anyone actually plan on going to church upon this Christmass? I am guessing most of you are all too puritanical for that because the word "Christmas" does not appear in the Bible. Or "Jupiter". I mean, just because it's possible to see Jupiter with the naked eye does not mean it actually exists. How can it exist if it is not mentioned in The BIBLE!

That was the view of a Puritanical stereotypical Baptist friend of mine until I proved to him it is indeed possible to see Jupiter with the naked eye. It was a clear and perfect starry night atop one of the world's largest sand dunes where it would appear one could float on down the Milky Way in a magical boat whilst laughing and singing all the night long. Oh, the wonders of astronomy of the Southern Hemisphere! And indeed like a terrifying silver terror, in the dead of night, did mighty Jupiter appear before our very eyes in the seeming guise of a peaceful star, roaring and thundering like the vengeful radioactive god He truly is.

"Lo!" He didst thunder like roaring thunder, "gaze ye upon my existence and behold thy futility!" And thus was my foolish unbelieving ally made to cower in the tall grass, his most treasured beliefs unraveling before his very eyes. "How foolish was I to doubt Thee, O Mighty One!" he wailed, desperately soiling his undergarments in a feeble last resort. "Perhaps I was wrong to entrust Calvin's thesis of Sola Scriptura in all matters of life", now reduced to a pathetic weeping state in a fetal position sucking his thumb.

And I was like, "Dude, it's just a planet but you sure are a pussy." Then we drove off in a pickup truck drinking tequila. Well, I had to haul his pathetic weeping state in the back and I knew he would only vomit on tequila.

Merry Christmas to all and peace on Earth!
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BabyDragon'sMom
PostPosted: Fri Dec 25, 2009 3:50 am  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 342
Location: Canada

Merry Christmas, all...and happy whatever-other-kind-of-holidays-anyone-might-happen-to-celebrate-at-this-oh-so-joyous-time-of-year.

I went to church tonight and it was ridiculous. We have the worst priest known to humankind, and I was singing a few things and he used so much goddamn incense that my throat felt like I had just spent the last four hours in a smoky bar. Lovely. That and a few other things that went on during that hour of my life made any sign of Christmas spirit disappear and in came the need to strangle something. Joy.

I'm sure I'll be fine by morning though...just an exhausting day. I'm sure my boy will be absolutely ecstatic in the morning, so that will be fun!

Have a good one, guys.....

And Phen, your original post in this thread is sort of what I mean by throwing people for a loop. Meaning, and I must only speak for myself here, that I will start reading that and not know where the hell you are going, skip over some of the stuff in the middle, read the end and sort of get the gist of what you may be meaning to say. My brother said "Merry Christmas" to my parents' JW neighbour today. He kind of just waved back and didn't say anything haha. True story. I never understand why they can't celebrate anything. Or don't want to. Or whatever. We're all going to hell anyway.
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Lauren2
PostPosted: Tue Dec 29, 2009 2:28 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 210

Hell doesn't exist. There is no little red guy waiting to punish you. I believe in some sort of higher being, but it sure isn't a bearded old man full of spite. I actually just got done reading Genesis for the first time, and it was weird and awful. Sometimes I would forget that people lived their LIFE by this BS and start to LMAO. Like this part where god comes to abraham and tells him to circumcise his slaves. God did not say, Hey, maybe you shouldn't have slaves. No. He said, "Cut off the end of their cocks." It was completely retarded. to make a long story short, we are all here to learn, grow and evolve. There is no one judging you and 70 years isn't enough time to do anything, so I think we just keep coming back.
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ookook
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 3:08 am  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 290
Location: YOUR BUTT HAHAAHAHAL OLOL

God told him to cut off the end of their cocks to see if he would actually do it.

God is a god... of teh lulz.

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Lauren2
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 4:30 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 210

"These idiots will believe anything I tell them"
- God, 1 BC
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Jeff
PostPosted: Wed Dec 30, 2009 5:23 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 27 May 2007
Posts: 150
Location: Shermer, Illinois

Santa Claus is really Odin, the Viking God, so Santa Claus > Jesus and his Dad (or just Jesus if you're one of those "it's the same person" people, whatever). That?s why I celebrate Christmas, not because of some hippy born in a barn during the spring 2000 years ago or a sudden feeling of goodwill towards people I hate all year round. I do it because I love receiving gifts and, surprisingly, giving them away as well and if that?s good enough for the Chief God of Norse Myth, then it?s good enough for me.

I always considered reading the Bible but just couldn?t care enough to find a copy, probably because I?d have to buy it and, in my opinion, religious text shouldn?t cost a dime. Don?t tell someone you want to save their soul and then ask them for $20 in exchange for the book that you claim will do it. What if they don?t like it or, like Lauren, come to the conclusion that it?s a load of BS and not fit for burning nor steadying a rickety table. Can you get a refund? Where would you go to get one? I can?t imagine a preacher giving you your money back; he?s got payments on his four-story house and fancy new sports car to make.
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Phen Lie-All
PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 8:39 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 28 May 2007
Posts: 312

Caity, I appreciate how you pointed out the obvious flaw in my writing style and I may try to correct it. I suppose the atmosphere of this forum encourages one to go for a loop as there is no great urgency to actually stay on topic or try to prove your point.

Like right now I feel like talking all about a Canadian I met at the Lion Park yesterday. You see, completely irrelevant to the topic but she and the Lion Park just seem interesting to talk about and thus is the magic of our forum! She speaks French fluently and lion cubs are adorable.

I would also like to say that it is rather easy to find the Bible available on-line absolutely free of charge. Please read the book before dissing things you clearly do not understand. I was criticising the doctrine of "Sola Scriptura", not the Bible itself. And not EVERYONE is going to Hell, only... MANY people because it's their own damn fault, not because God is angry and spiteful. An Italian man told me that and you know what they say about Italians.

And as has been proven time and time again, religious discussion on this forum is usually a bad idea but I suppose it will never end. So... who is your patron saint? I like to think St. Francis de Salles chose me and he still seems very relevant to my life some 500 years on and about 8000 kilometres away. I would also love to see the great city of Lyon and Lake Geneva. Mayhaps I will get the chance in May!
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FortheLoveofJoe
PostPosted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 10:36 pm  Reply with quote
Degrassi School President


Joined: 26 May 2007
Posts: 900

I've been to Lyon. It's fine.
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Lauren2
PostPosted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 2:51 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 03 Dec 2007
Posts: 210

Joe is my Patron saint. Every time I have to poop really bad I just pray to him, and it never lands in my pants.
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Magdalene
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:37 pm  Reply with quote
Sheckerz
Sheckerz


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 184
Location: Michigan

I hope you all had a merry christmas AND a happy new year.
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ookook
PostPosted: Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:56 pm  Reply with quote
Wisegay
Wisegay


Joined: 31 May 2007
Posts: 290
Location: YOUR BUTT HAHAAHAHAL OLOL

AND a happy January thirteenth.
<:

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