Here is the new article I wrote, Do you feel cool that you get to read it before it is posted, I just wanted to know what everyone thought because I havent wrote anything in a while and I am going to start again,
I Hate Mountain Dew
Yo! What's up in dis peice? I was going to write a review about the movie Pathfinder and how it is basically The Last Samurai and they should have called it The Last Native American because a white guy saves all the indians, but I got this dumbass email from my school and I decided to write about that instead. Before I go any further you should just read it:
To the Wyoming students:
This fall RepNation is looking to recruit two leaders to spread the word about Mountain Dew on your campus. The mission: Create non-stop buzz and excitement around Mountain Dew.
As part of the Dew Crew, you will lead the charge in Mountain Dew?s latest ground breaking promotional campaign. From sampling to events to creating buzz online, you will be the face and voice behind this supercharged brand. Crew members will be expected to operate as an independent team, communicate with the program manager and fellow members through a web-based community portal, as well as working with fellow Crew members on larger initiatives.
What does it take to join the Dew Crew? You must be a creative individual that is comfortable distributing promotional materials, generating PR, on and offline networking, and event management. You must also be able to dedicate a minimum of ten hours a week to the program. In return you will receive the hottest Mountain Dew gear, great pay, performance based incentives, and an amazing experience working on an innovative campaign.
As a socially connected leader at the University of Wyoming we would like to personally invite you to apply for the position. Check it out at www.repnation.com/dewcrew.
Summer Associate, Brand Engagement
WOW! I can't believe they want me to be on THE DEW CREW. I even get a secet mission to "create non-stop buzz and exitcment about Mountain Dew". Fuck that. I hate Mountain Dew. I hate everything about it. It tastes like piss and makes you fell like shit. I espeically hate how they try to make it XTREME. What makes the Dew more extreme than boring ass Pepsi? Well Mountain Dew is yellow and.....ummm... nothing. Drinking PCP is way more extreme but you dont see a snowboarder slamming PCP and Grindin rails. In fact, if it is so extreme than why is it the preferred beverage of Halo nerds and Dungeon Masters. Fatshit dorks drink dew, not althetes. I relpeied to this email to see what they would say:
Dear Karen Smith,
I would like to join the Dew Crew but I dont think I have what it takes. I havent back flipped any motorcycles or lit myself on fire or anthing like that lately. Plus if I create nonstop buzz when will I find time to sleep. Because nonstop is totally extreme and sleeping is for Pepsi swilling pussies. Will I become extreme enough to join the Dew Crew if I stop drinking everthing except Mountain Dew? Water is for 4 year old girls that cant surf sharks over molten lava.
There hasn't been any reply yet, I guess Im not cool enough to hand out flyers about a carbonated drink. Fuck Extreme Marketing.
Last edited by DJIceyLauren on Sun Jun 17, 2007 1:51 pm; edited 1 time in total
I see you have not altered your friggity-fresh style of keeping in spelling errors.
I WILL NEVER SAY ANYTHING NICE. THAT IS HOW I KEEP YOU PRODUCTIVE.
Anyway, this is fine. It'd of course be a lot better if that woman actually got back to you, though.
REGISTERED TWICE DID WE??? WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO DELETE YOUR LESS HIP USERNAME??? I CAN WIPE IT FROM THE FACE OF EXISTENCE AND NO ONE WILL EVER KNOW YOU MADE A REGULAR NAME AND YOU CAN KEEP YOUR COOL LEVELS AT MAX!!! <--revealin ur sekritz
Also, I'm very pleased about how it looks to have the forum labeling you "A girl."
Joined: 29 May 2007
Location: The Great USA
Unless you'ce crashed into a blimp while atop a motorcycle with an rifle in one hand and aimlessly strafing the arm you hold your PN-490 Sub-Machine gun in while smoking a Cigar and not looking in whatever direction you're riding toward, THEN you can advertise a beverage that does not in any way allow you to perceive such images.
_________________ Arguing with the cops is like shaking your fist at God. There's nobody there; and if there is, he's not listening. And if he's listening, all you're doing is pissing him off.
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