Wednesday, July 12, 2006

On Weed

I've noticed a number of people on this internet are old and squarish and therefore do not know what a "pot" does or how a "joint" happens. As a habitual marijuana smoker, I've got a few things to say about marijuana and the smoking of it.

First and foremost, we should get this straight. Just to confirm what all you straight-edge dorks have gone on believing up till now: YES, smoking pot is NOT COOL. You're right, okay? Fine.

Being cool, as always, is ulitimately dictated by your personality and any of your behavior will, by extension, be also perceived as cool. Coolness is, of course, much like art, an illusion of sorts, as it's entirely determined upon by he or she who assesses it as such. Now, I've gone way off the deep end here, but the point is that I don't think pot necessarily makes you UNcool either. My feelings are that it's SO EXCEEDINGLY RARE that there is a person out there who just LOOOOVES life SOOOO MUCH that they can get through all of it without getting just a wee bit inebriated. If they are however, that IS, in my mind, cool.

A good bit of life (if not all) is a series of distractions. Just like having a hobby, getting fucked up is a tactic towards doing SOMEthing, rather than just waiting around for death (yeah, and you thought this was just gonna be about ganja). The thing is that, for example, interacting with people or any creative activity (writing, drawing, macrame) is leaps and bounds ahead of drug use. Simply put, you're doing something that somehow in someway does enrich your life. Drug use, especially pot, is almost in complete opposition of this.

There's an argument for alcohol, in that it often greases the wheels to better social interaction, but it also often results in creating connections where there normally are not any ("You're drunk?! Wow, I'm drunk too! We have so much in common!!"). Such connections are also, in my mind, more or less a waste of time. Additionally, although a relationship technically can be kickstarted initially by alcohol with no major repercussions, there's also the possibility of the relationship becoming dependent on the sauce. This is uber-poor and then shit gets Days of Wine and Roses crazy!

Pot, specifically, is a loner drug. There are a bunch of others too: mushrooms, which I've tried once with much, MUCH less than stellar results, opium, which I've had mixed with pot and it pretty much just made me (amazingly) even lazier, and ones I have not tried (heroin, acid, and most downers) but imagine result in similar alienating behavior. Before I started smoking pot I was already a largely unproductive and anti-social person. When I found out there was a way I could waste bundles of money at the same time I said, sign me up, brother!! Seriously though, pot just makes it all the worse.

There's this annoying notion going around that people who come up with weird and creative things were probably high at the time. While this CAN be true (Naked Lunch!), I know that, especially in my case, it usually probably isn't. Sure, maybe these people smoke pot, but not when they're working. Admittedly, drugs have different effects on everybody but, generally speaking, pot does nothing except make you unproductive, anti-social, and instills in you a want to be high fairly consistently. So when you see something funny on TV and say, "These guys must smoke sooooo much weed!" you might be right, but it's likely not relevant to the content of the show, unless you're watching Adult Swim or Family Guy or something, in which case it's possible, because that stuff isn't even very funny or well-made.

As I said earlier, two of the major things I believe are productive as far as LIFE is concerned are interaction with other people (shitty as most of them may be) and any sort of creative outlet you can get your hands on. Pot, and a lot of other drugs, I'm sure, quite simply, strip you of a want to be involved with any of this and, on top of which, use up a chunk of your cash. This is really, by this logic, the ultimate crime.

That said, I still have to say that I don't see a huge problem with the average person trying marijuana. The fact of the matter is that people who remain stalwart against doing drugs tend to, I'm sorry but this seems to be the way it often is, end up being the biggest of dorks. I suppose it wouldn't be this way if we weren't such a drug-struck culture, but most everyone gets high off something and when you don't, it's a noticeable social divider.

Before I tried pot, I had this distinct sense of awkwardness around my drug-comfortable friends. I know it sounds simple, "I wasn't awkward around potsmokers once I started smoking pot" but it's more than that. I have friends who do cocaine and oxycotton as well. I don't feel a need to escalate my drug usage to these sorts of things, however. The simple fact is that I, too, in my small way (because pot really is about as wussy as you can go drug-wise) am a drug user, so turning down one thing doesn't feel like some dorky pledge to turn down everything.

Yes, I am letting peer pressure get to me, I suppose, but it's beyond that because, as so many people are involved in drugs, it becomes a social expectation. Think about it, it's exactly the same with drinking. When people go out on the town, alcohol's usually involved somewhere along the way. If you're the person who has elected to, for personal reasons, remain dry at all times (and there was a period in which I did try to be that person), you're going to feel left out because, unavoidably, you will kind of be left out. So then the question remains, if you drink, are you still a dork? Yes, you are, dorkalicious.

The discrepancy is, I believe, between legal and illegal drug use. I can respect the people who don't do ANYTHING, including alcohol, far more than those who "just drink." I know every pothead says this, but alcohol is FAR worse than weed. Alcohol can make you vomit VERY easily; weed, almost never (unless alcohol's also involved). Driving under the influence of alcohol is a VERY bad idea; on weed, it's not a good one and not one I reccommend anyway, but it's far less of a potential (HA) threat. Passing out on alcohol is exceptionally possible; weed, again, no. So then the question becomes, what exactly about alcohol makes it OKAY for you, whereas something like pot is no no, Nanette?

I say this as a dork and someone who was formerly far dorkier: nine times out of ten (precise statistics I pulled from my ass) the fact that drugs are illegal is what stops people from trying them. Whether they want to admit this or not (and they probably don't to save face), the LAW is what's truly ingrained within them.

I'm sorry, but fuck that, you pussy. If you want to try a drug, there are multiple, multiple avenues (literally and figuratively) available to you to get your smoke, poke, whatever on without much fear at all of the five-oh getting all up in your shit. Don't let this be a detriment. GET HIGH. As bad as it really is for you, if you're a person who is curious, yet sensible, it doesn't have to dominate your life. You can, at least in the case of weed, quit. (I have for months at a time. I will, however, admit, and this is probably a form of addiction, that, at least at my present position in life, I don't feel comfortable saying "I will never smoke pot again" because, well, I'd like to.)

The fact of the matter is, I ultimately tried pot because some part of me was curious about it. If you have a legitimate reason to not try something, then you are a far cooler person than I and I support you all the way (I hope you feel lucky being supported by a pothead). If you really truly are happy as you are and don't need anything to loosen your consciousness a bit, great, you're awesome and, in my opinion, this close to being a creature of myth but, hey, go you. If you have a history of addiction or some other psychological reasoning behind not trying something, again, completely understandable. However, if you're just sitting around knocking back Bud Lights and sucking down Marlboros because, well, that's what the government deemed worth doing, cut that shit out, go find some pot, and see what all the fuss is about. I'm not saying it's good for you, I'm not saying it's even a smart course of action, I'm just saying that most everybody needs to get a little messed up every once in awhile and if you're curious, go ahead and give it a go.

I know those who say they're never gonna try it. I mean, we're just talking about pot here, people. Nobody has to be that dorky.