Tuesday, April 25, 2006

You Guys Like Sandwiches?

Hey, me too. I'm not very good with them though. I'm better with children and therefore totally marryable and shit.

See, you have to handle a sandwich delicately or else all the stuff inside might fall out, like the meat and tomatoes and so forth? The same goes for children. You hold them wrong and all their meat falls out.

But, see, with the sandwich there's a gap inbetween the bread. A SIZABLE ONE! So all the stuff comes out easier. The kids have all this protective outer crap going on so you gotta shake 'em somethin' fierce to really screw anything up, right? Right, so it's easier.

Oh, dear, but you EAT a sandwich don't you? Perhaps you are thinking I handle my children the same way I handle my sandwiches, huh? Well, no, I don't EAT the children after I shake them, I mean come on. I'm just saying, they are better at keeping their inner child meat under wraps.

The alternative title for this blog entry is now "Inner Child Meat."

Listen, all I'm saying is that they should work on making BREAD BOXES. And I don't mean bread box like what's bigger than a. That's a box that HOLDS bread (at least I think it is). I mean like they should design bread that looks almost like a jewlery case, with edible hinges and everything! You flip it open, you put your meat, lettuce, tomato, and condiments inside and you close it shut! See? No big gap, no meat slippin' out and ruining your day.

Just like a child.


If you found this disturbing, I'd LOVE to hear from you.