Saturday, April 15, 2006


My blog is totally just turning into me bitching about things like a little livejournal wussbag but oh well.

I live in America. So my biggest problems are not about going hungry or not sewing enough shoes in a week but are, instead, based around stupid people pissing me off with their inanity and such and such.

Like people making noise for no reason.


People need to think THINK for just one goddamned second about how what they're doing affects other people.

What WHAT? Is this in direct contrast to my last blog entry in which I appeared to champion self-centeredness? No, jerk. I was saying people need to be self-centered in their wants and goals. I think people need to stay true to themselves (awwww) and really consider if what they're doing at any point in their life is good for them and is what they really want because, yes, goddammit, YOU need to be happy. First and foremost YOU NEED TO BE HAPPY, MOTHERFUCKER. That bullshit about not being able to love others before you love yourself? HELL YES IT'S TRUE. You have ANGER in you, you only bring that to the people around you and then morons start slapping bitches and shit. Look at all my cursing.

But this has nothing to do with what I came here to speak upon.

When I was on the train the other day, a gentleman sitting with his wife and child took it upon himself to take the umbrella he was holding and begin to TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP TAP RAP RAP RAP SONOFABITCH GODDAMN IT on the floor. He was an interesting specimen, I must admit, as he didn't seem to be following any sort of rhythm that I could discern. It was just a series of random-ass taps, like the jackass was doing morse code or some shit.

In keeping with what I said before, maybe JUST MAYBE this ERRATIC TAPPING is what makes this guy truly FEEL ALIVE. Maybe he just can't be happy without rapping his umbrella on the floor like some Parkison's done overtook him suddenly. BUT I DOUBT IT.

Assuming that umbrella percussion is NOT this man's very lifeblood, he needs to CUT THAT CRAP OUT.

My sister once commented on what a very selfish act whistling in a public area is and I believe this is true. Even if the person is on key and even if you know what song they're whistling, it's a shrill, likely much less nice-sounding version of the song you know and love. It's just some goddamned noise festering within their brain and being translated through their lips. It's a sign that a person is so blissfully unaware or aware but just don't give a damn that people are around them. It's noise for the sake of noise FOR YOU. And the same goes for tapping like a jackanape.

I know people zone out and do things like this. You aren't thinking and you start tapping your pencil on your desk, something like that, yes? Well, there is your problem, friend. THINK for goodness' sakes. THINK. Realize what you are doing. It might hurt, I know, but at all times you must be thinking! You think when you're asleep don't you? Damn right, you do, little dreamer! So don't think for a second that you can get out of that crap while you're riding the damn bus or waiting in line or whatnot. You'll have time to rest those cognitive muscles when you're dead.

If you don't think you won't be able to consider your situation in life and fulfill your dreams accordingly. If you aren't thinking while crossing the street, you'll get flattened by a truck.

Most importantly, if you're bored and you stop thinking, you may very well end up producing some inane noise and that will most certainly piss me off.

In the words of George Costanza, "You know, we're living in a society!" Be aware of your surroudings and THINK.

Thursday, April 13, 2006

I Should Be Ashamed!!! - Another "Teenage Angst" Blog

So I'm an unemployed little tosser, I am. And I've been this way for an appallingly long while (I think like six months now). My parents (more specifically, my padre) are starting to get right PO'ed and, I suppose, with good reason.

I hate working so much. And I don't believe in it. I believe I should be writing. It's the only thing I care about enough to get me anywhere in life, I think. I don't hold jobs for very long because they make me hate life more than I already do and, oooooh, I sure hate a lot.

It'd be easier for me to argue this claim if I actually wrote a lot more than I did get high and jerk off and stuff. But these things tend to be easier than writing. Not to say that I don't write at all but I could totally have a completed work of some sort by now if I was at all hard on myself in any capacity. I've decided I'm not going to make a connection between the previous sentence and the earlier mention of jerking off...well, except for this sentence.

Anyway, I understand my dad's unhappiness, but this is more about the way in which he's berating me for it. He gave me one yelling lecture about how despicable my behavior was that shook me up ever so slightly, only because I don't want to move back with him and my mom, not because I'm worried about any future career crapola. He gave me a follow-up chew-out yesterday that did nothing really except to lessen the blow of his previous rant.

He told me I should be ashamed of myself. Fine. Again, I'm not in complete disagreement here. The one thing I do find absurd is that him and my mother both agreed to pay for the two-month screenwriting class I am currently taking and he's now behaving as though I should have a job now even though I'm in the midst of THE CLASS HE AGREED TO PAY FOR. But aside from this, I totally agree I could have done LOTS more with my time.

The major thing he said that truly bugged me was that I was embarassing everyone the way I was acting. MMMM. Now I understand this notion of bringing shame upon your family. Whether it be by being an unemployed loser or getting arrested for drug possession or coming out of the closet, there's lots of ways to ruin your family's "reputation."

Sadly, I don't give a fuck, shit, or [INSERT FAVORITE EXPLETIVE HERE].

If there's one thing anyone can do to make me shut myself off to them, it's to tell me to do something FOR them. Fuck you. The only time I could see this working is with a girl I was wholly and truly in love with. I imagine a girl like this could make me do anything for her and, I'd hope, she'd have implemented some logic behind requesting something in such a manner. Besides this situation, however, I ain't doin' jack for nobody but me.

Not to say I don't do favors. We all get that right? I mean if you say "Get that pencil for me" I don't say to you "WHAT'S IN IT FOR ME?!" I mean that I don't want people to tell me to do things that should be MORE important to me personally than they should be to them FOR them. Did that sentence work? I hope!

I once had a summer job as a parking lot attendant for CVS. I once came home in the middle of my shift because it was a slow day and I knew I could get away with leaving for the rest of the day then coming back to punch out. My mom got upset with me for being dishonest (which is something I'm almost exclusively not except when in a job situation, in which case I feel that all bets are off because, well, jobs suck). She told me to go back to work "FOR HER." I sort of flipped out and said "No! If I'm gonna do it for anybody, I'll do it for me." Unfortunately, as it wasn't something important to me, I didn't go back to work. There's more to this story that makes me a worse son, but I shan't go into it now.

When my dad said it was embarassing for him when people asked what I was doing and he had to always say "Still looking for a job" (and, incidentally, he could at least now say "taking a screenwriting course"), it was a fairly similar situation. I think, if I really consider the meaning behind these statements, my dad's was MORE irritating.

First of all, he's indirectly telling me that I should get a job for HIS sake. It's really more important to MY life that I do some work, I'd have to say. He should've told me I should get a job for ME, which, I'm sure, is true.

Secondly, the fact that I'm evidently "embarassing" him means that he wants me to get a job not just to make him worry less about me but so that he can keep up appearences with acquaintances. This is phenomenally stupid. I understand that it can be kind of crappy to have to admit that someone related to you is being a failure but, more than that, I tend to think "who gives a damn what other people think?" Unless someone's very meaningful to me, screw them! I know for a fact my dad doesn't like or care about very many people. Hell, I inherited that trait from him! Suddenly, though, this is an embarassment?

I know, I should look at this from my dad's perspective. If someone came up to me and asked me "What's your son up to?" and I had to lie would it suck some? Yes. So I wouldn't. I'd embrace it! "He's being a bum. We're hoping he pulls out of it." Like I really care what these people take away from that and, on top of which, (when I mentioned this to my sister and her boyfriend he pointed this out) they probably don't care either. It's not THEIR family and they barely know me! It's just small talk! Nobody really gives a damn about your crappy family, even if they pretend like they do!

When my dad told me I was embarassing him, I stopped absorbing what he said almost completely. If he just wanted to express concern over my actions, "We're worried about you" would've been much better and lots more succinct. Telling me to do something for YOU that should be for ME has the opposite effect: I now feel enthused to strive to dissapoint YOU further, because that would now be funny to ME.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Too Lazy, Brotherslice

At this point, it's rare I do blogs because I am too lazy and I have a lot of other things I should be doing. The easiest thing for me to do is paste random sections of my screenplay, since I have to write that anyway.

The funny thing about this screenplay is that each section has essentially been written within the span of a few hours on very little sleep in the morning just before class. Shoddy?! YOU BET!!!

While you're here, I'll tell you to buy the Yeah Yeah Yeahs' new album, Show Your Bones because it's really very lovely. Or maybe I don't know anything, but chances are I know a ton and you all just haven't been listening properly.

Right, screenplay (Again, note that the formatting is not going to look great here. Action lines are in italics):


Kat gets in the driver’s seat. Doug opens the passenger door.

Wow! Look at all this meat you got!

He starts throwing the meat into the backseat.

Don’t worry, I won’t eat too much of it. I’ve totally been living on Fritos.

Kat hot-wires the car to start it up. Doug sits down

Awesome, how’d you do that?

It’s called hot-wiring.

Yeah, like in that movie! “No keys, no problem!” You know, that one guy?


Oh. They play it all the time. It’s really good.

Kat puts the car in drive.

Can you show me how to do it some time?

Sure, we’ll take turns driving.

Oh, I can’t drive.

You what?

I never learned. I mean, I’ve tried. I hit a lot of things.

Kat shakes her head.



It’s pitch black out and beginning to snow again. Kat’s car speeds by.


Doug is looking at the map.

This is your map? This map sucks.

We should probably stop for the night. It’s snowing anyway.

If you go a little further there’s a city. Then we can park the car in an alley or something.

Kat looks at Doug, who smiles.



Snow is coming down more heavily. The car drives past a sign that reads “Now Entering Clearstone City.” The city looms ahead.


The car drives slowly through snow-covered roads, finally stopping and backing into an alleyway.


Kat lies down in the backseat. Doug is in front trying to get comfortable. Their supplies are in various places on the floor in the front and back.


You all right up there?

Yeah, I’m fine. I just bumped the stick shift.

You can sleep back here if you want.

No no, that’s fine. It’s nice to have somewhere to sleep in the first place.



Kat huddles up, then reaches into her pocket. There’s a little CLICK as she puts her hand around her gun. Doug moves his head towards her slightly.

I think we should agree to not kill each other.


Okay, Kat?

Kat says nothing at first.

Okay, Doug.

Kat relaxes some, but keeps her hand in her pocket.