Sunday, June 18, 2006

Thanks for Wasting My Time

Stupid people need to stop making stupid contributions to society, in turn, making it stupider. You come out with retardinatorshit and you tell me it's mas bueno? It's not! It's totally not even! I disagree with your assertion that it's an improperly phrased Spanish statement that implies something good, more or less.

For those of you keeping track with me, yes, I am still working on saving the world. It's just taking a little longer than I had originally anticipated it taking and I'd appreciate just a wee bit of patience on your part. I really don't think that's too much to ask, do you, skinflint? You just get to sit back while all the earth's problems get solved, okay? Like I need your lip now too, huh? What? Huh?

A lot of people seem to hate Elizabeth Wurtzel. I have trouble understanding this. Mostly because she's so hot.



You see what I'm saying here? I also think she kind of knows how to write...about herself.

Now understand that I upgraded from Koren Zailckas' Smashed to good ol' Lizzy's Prozac Nation, which shows you that drinking is a gateway drug to the harder stuff. Shows you that hardcore! Also, you upgrade the prettiness. See, here's Koren:



She's cute, sure, but she's no Wurtzel! No Wurtzel at all!! Although Ms. Wurtzel's also about forty at this point, but, well, whatever.



WUUUURRRTZELLLLLLL!!!!!!!

BETTING ON THE BUUUUULLL WITH THE HEATHER!!!

This is easily the best post I've ever written. I hope you are all mystified or mortified or possibly spellbound, depending on what season it is that you are reading this during.

I'm sure we all had a ball here today.

2 Comments:

Blogger j-bean said...

I am currently reading More, now, again, which I might add I bought new for $.99 at liqiudation world. I'd just like to say reading this is torture. I want to blow my f-ing head off. What an awful, maddeningly annoying freak!!! I hope I never meet her because I want my time back as well as my $.99. Way to use that brain making people loathe you Lizzie!

10:47 PM  
Blogger Joeplork said...

Yeah, I liked some of Prozac Nation, but I don't think I'm going out of my way to read any more Wurtzel.

Also! This is my shittier blog post about her. The one from two days later is a lot better!

6:50 AM  

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