Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Take a Friendship Intolerance Trip!

Here's another of the many reasons I need a girlfriend I really love:

I don't like anybody.

Okay, sure, I like people to SOME degree, but I can only take them in small doses, and that accounts for almost EVERYBODY. Now, I do believe I am more critical than a lot of people but, still, except for the people who love meeting new people and find everybody interesting (IN DENIAL!), I bet most of you folk don't like so many people so much as you just TOLERATE them.

Again, most of youse guys probably get along with more people or, at least, believe you get along with more people than I do. I'm just assuming this because most people I know have far more friends/acquaintances than I. Personally, unless I find something truly interesting about someone when I first talk to them, I'm probably fine to let them fall, fall, FALL from my memory like a stoolie off a cliff.

The test is truly this: go on a trip of some sort with your friend/signficant other/right hand (HAW HAW!). Depending on your annoyancy tolerance level (this will likely be especially high if you yourself are a pain in the ass), you may want to make this trip last anywhere from three days to a week. The most important part is that it be an excursion that results in you and your companion being in each other's company about seventy-five percent of the time. Cars, plane rides, and hotel rooms tend to make certain of this.

Hotel rooms especially are important in such a test. Here, you'll get a little sneak peek at what living with this person might be like. Do they leave stuff around with the idea that the maid will just get it later anyway? When you move in together, they gonna wreck yo shit! Best believe dat!

This test should root out a fair bit of enemies who you once thought were friends. You are under very active, strenuous conditions, and often in confined spaces with the people with whom you take vacations (which are strangely non-relaxing by nature and, yes, I know I'm not to the first to notice this). I often discover that I can only take my friends in small doses. Extended periods of time around them lead to me literally envisioning violent acts towards their faces. Yes, that's right, literally.

I'll be honest here. This test isn't going to work with every specimen. If you get along REAL well with someone, and a trip doesn't destroy your perception of them, moving in with them very well may do so. And, really, except out of convenience, you aren't going to move in with anyone and it isn't going to be with the idea of it being a permanent thing unless they are your believed to be significant other. Therefore, the general impression is that this is a unique situation and you will likely never spend this much time with this person again in the future, so maybe the negative aspects of them are, in the long run, more or less negligible.

I suppose this holds true for a trip as well. As long as you can understand that one day you'll probably, just as a result of the natural mechanics of life, fall out of keeping in touch and maybe only get together once in a little while, maybe the negative things are tolerable. Plus, I'm not saying go into things LOOKING FOR PROBLEMS. Actually, I guess I sort of did, but I don't truly believe people should live like that. I'm just saying if you start to feel irritated by something, don't just let it simmer inside. If you don't address it openly with the person, at least be aware of it yourself.

Examine it from every angle and question whether it's entirely their fault or if you're a bit of a nut too. Is this something that's going to always chew on your brain unless it's addressed or fled from? Or is it a mild annoyance that you can let go? Ideally, you do talk it over with somebody because maybe you are just a wackjob and you don't know it.

Maybe I seem sort of like an inhuman bastard (no arguments here!) with my flippant dismissal of friendship but, my point is, people seem to get into relationships (and I'm not just talking about romantic ones, although that's where this becomes most important) and end up complaining endlessly whenever they're away from the other person and yet still believing this companionship is an important or necessary part of their life. Hey! If it's just a few things, maybe yeah, but if all you can talk about is negatives, maybe this is a chunk of your life you can just slice right the hell out! It'll be better for both of yas!

Is it that easy to just get rid of people and move on? No, it isn't. That's the unfortunate part. I'd love to have some sort of friend kitchen timer that I could just hold up and go "DING! That will be all, thanks." Unfortunately, I haven't invented it yet. Again, hopefully, with life's natural progression, you'll move away from people or get involved with other groups and get to a point where the old people who kept you tied down, as it were, are mere glimmers in your memory, perhaps revived briefly by a (CHORE-LIKE) phone call once every couple of months, no big deal.

But then there are the ones that latch on; the people who can't seem to let go. They want to keep you in their lives no matter what and, again, I'm not even talking about girlfriends and boyfriends here. What about the old hometown friend who still calls you up to go out and get drunk all the time, huh? Yeah, that asshole. It'll hurt for them when you leave them behind but, come on, man, you can't let societal courtesy keep you tethered to your past and, one would hope, this person will take note of the fact that everyone has left him behind and will do something about his own life...at the very least, he can probably get someone else to drink with, or like a dog or something.

All I know is, recent adventures with some friends of mine have led me to believe I have to leave these people, I really hope sooner rather than later. One of them I will certainly still keep in touch with, but the other...my goodness. I do believe I've decided the negatives outweigh the positives. This was the benefit of the trip. I've learned far too much about this man and recognized that most of his value comes from favors rather than any sort of aspects of his personality I actually appreciate and, hey, that's really not a good reason to call someone a friend. I don't wanna keep in touch with him. I wanna be rid of him entirely, someday. I really hope I find some way to start this process soon, because I can only take so much bullshit.

PEACE!!!!!!!!!

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