Thursday, April 20, 2006

Look At What I Can Do

"A subway docked at the station. After the train came to a stop, I sort of zoned out and stared into the window of the car directly in front of me. Until it started moving away from me again, I, for just a second, was convinced that I was inside of it."

I wrote the rest of this entry first and then decided to paste that part right at the top, as it might help my argument thingy. Think about the first impression you got from reading the line. Don't try to dissect it or think too hard on it. Just think what the general thought or feeling you got from it was.

NOW READ THE REST!!!!

Let me axe you regarding sumptin'.

Has this ever happened to you? Because it happened to me this one time and I don't know if it's just me or what.

I'm not sure it would work with all trains but it at least does with NYC subways. Essentially, any sort of train system where you are about eye-level with the windows of the train and they are also pretty big (the windows).

Anyway, I was standing on the platform and a train that was NOT!! the one I was planning to get on pulled in. I was standing quite close to the edge of the platform, I dare say I might have even been OVER THE YELLOW "DON'T GO THERE" ZONE.

Now, I may have just been tired or - I won't rule out this possibility - on something, but after the train came to a stop, I sort of zoned out and stared into the window of the car directly in front of me. Until it started moving away from me again, I, for just a second, was convinced that I was inside of it. Just like I looked into the window and let my mind go enough and the window was big enough that my peripheral vision began to seem fairly inconsequential. As such, I think my mind, for a second there, thought I was in the train car.

WOAAAAAAAAAH.

Trust me, I'm aware that this isn't insightful or probably even very interesting in any way.

Now, it's altogether likely that y'all are just gonna think I'm a nutbucket what don't make no type of sense but, instead, do me a favor and pretend like I'm a sensible, regularly functioning human specimen. I know this is hard.

Now see how I addressed this issue of me thinking I was inside a train car for a second as some kind of temporary jackassish loss of sensibility? Now, see, that's an honest, straightforward way to discuss a stupid issue. Now consider this:

Pretend I wrote a novel that is advertised as a DRAMA or I have an indie film coming out that contains the same line. Now, instead of just reading this line (nearly verbatim from what I said before) like a normal bit of me waxing idiotic, imagine it with pauses FULL OF GRAVITY (at the commas and where I've added ellipses) and in a somber, dramatic tone:

"A subway docked at the station. After the train came to a stop, I sort of...zoned out and stared into the window of the car directly in front of me. Until it started moving away from me again, I, for just a second, was convinced that I...was inside of it."

Now YOU SEE?!? Okay, so maybe I'm wrong and this example is too stupid to take seriously in any form but, I dunno, I feel like, depending on the tone, this stupid line could be put into a novel or film and make a decent job passing itself off as "insightful" or "deep" in some manner. Neither of which it actually is.

An easy way to give the illusion of subtext is by being vague. Heck, I'd venture to say poetry's largely based on it! If I just say something that sounds like it might be trying to say something, a lot of people will think it is saying something and do their damnedest to figure out what that might be and, after failing or at least coming up with a fake reasoning that suits them, they'll quote it and put into their various myspace profiles and away messages and all that horribleness.

I've now decided to put the line at the top of this post (in quotes to maybe also initially fool youse guys into thinking someone who isn't me-someone reputable, perhaps?-said it) before I discussed it as the piece of nonsense that it truly is.

Now I'd really like to know if anyone out there thought it was supposed to some kind of poetic line of beauty. If not, I wouldn't be too surprised (I don't pretend to be a particularly poetic type) but, hey, maybe! You tell me.

Now think about some of the deep, poetic lines you've found powerful in the past. Think them through again, pick them apart, and realize the stupidity.

NOTHING IS SMART.

The end I am so totally right.

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