Tuesday, April 18, 2006

I Can't Believe My Mouf!!!

When I was a young lad and I had something of the utmost importance to impart, I would get very pumped up about this fact. If my family was talking and continued to do so over me, I would shout, "I CAN'T HEAR MY MOUF!!!" So I was probably always an attention whore of sorts.

These days, I let my mouf go without thinking beforehand. I like to spout sarcasm and off-color remarks and I very often give my full, uncensored opinion of things.

This is a taboo, my friends.

You aren't supposed to not like a person. You're supposed to find them "okay." You can't find a class boring or stupid. I suppose you can mention that it goes on a "little too long" sometimes, though. You can't have a drug habit! You can go out on Fridays.

I'm often very open about these sorts of issues. Someone forgot to put my filter in and I'm coming LIVE in FULL EFFECT, BROHAM!!! It's scary shit, all right.

I guess the issue I'm addressing is actually less about being open and honest and more about taking full of advantage of the opportunities made available to you. I just didn't have another way to open this entry. See? Honesty!

See, I am taking this eight-week screenwriting class, yeah? I'm supposed to have a feature-length (as in about one-hundred-twenty pages) screenplay by the completion of the class. No matter how many times I tell myself not to, I end up doing the work on little to no sleep mere hours before the class starts. I fucking hate it and, I mean, I love writing and it's one of the only things I really like to do but, man, do I hate it.

I believe I've established before what a self-centered, spoiled little prick I am. I guess that's why taking this screenwriting class strikes me as nothing special (although I am learning quite a lot). I finished a bunch of college not too long ago and, to some degree, this is just more class. Yeah, I'd like to finish my screenplay, but my procrastinatory nature as well as the fact that I'm not getting graded results in me PUSHING IT TO THE LIMIT as far as what I can get away with. I don't MEAN to do this exactly. My mind just naturally takes advantage of situations where it can in order to afford me more time to wank and smoke pot. Thanks, brain!

So! Today in class I made it clear that I hadn't written as far into my screenplay as we were supposed to have by now and that I really didn't expect to finish the whole thing by the end of the class. Turns out, my day to present my material got bumped from today to Wednesday.

"Dammit!" I proclaimed to my teacher and fellow students. "Now I hafta write more!"

My teacher didn't react too much, he's aight, but when I had mentioned my shortage of material earlier, one person asked me if I had other stuff going on.

"No," I said somewhat ashamedly, "I'm just really lazy and a horrible procrastinator."

One girl said, "Well you can finish if you want to. You just have to write ten pages a day."

"Yeah...I guess," said I.

Both she and the other guy in the class eventually made points to me about how I DID take this class for this purpose and shouldn't I want to take advantage of the situation, yadda yadda. There seemed to be some mild incredulity towards the notion that I would, in any way, be adverse to finishing up my screenplay.

In a perfect world, there'd be a moral or point to cap this story off but, no. I guess all I'm really saying is that I personally have no dilemma with slacking in any given situation.

If you've ever thought "No one can be THAT lazy." Ohhhhh yes, I can. YES. I. CAN.

Yeah, this blog wasn't that great.


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