Monday, March 06, 2006

I Am Selling My Delicious Pie for, Like, Eighty Bucks

I have a pie that is really delicious. I haven't eaten any of it yet, but I know it is delicious because of the aroma of it. It is blueberry and it is so very pungent that my neighbors come around going, "What is that?" I tell them it is a pie and they want it very badly! I told them it is blueberry and one man said, "I am allergic to blueberry!" Then he thought a moment and said "HOW MUCH DO YOU WANT FOR IT!? BLARRRGH!" Oh! He wanted the pie so much.

The pie was made several days ago and came straight from God's pie-making bosom itself (a lot of people do not know about God's ability to produce pies from his bosom, but I have a connection). It is like a magical, SPIRITUAL pie or some nonsense. It soooo good, dawg. even though it has been at my house for a good number of days now, it smells like it is fresh out of the oven! Pie!

I want to eat the pie so badly, you know? Unfortunately, I have this wicked heroin addiction that needs fueling, you dig? Pie, heroin, pie, heroin...I find myself flip-flopping back and forth because both are so desirable. However, heroin is like Hulk Hogan circa 1985. Anything you put up against it is sure to be resoundingly defeated.

Anyhoo, I am thinking maybe like eighty bucks for the pie? Let me know if you think I could charge more for it because, I mean, it's like, what, like I don't need more heroin? Don't be stupid.


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