Wednesday, March 29, 2006

Here's a Blog Entry

Oh gosh!

I haven't been writing on here and, I think, this is a good idea.

I want to finish my series of things about girls, but that is about all because I need to get something real going. You know, like with money? And not being a loser idiot? Otherwise my parents are gonna kick me square in the face. Brother, you don't even know.

Freedom of speech is crazy, guys. Did you know that? I'm trying to write a screenplay, eh, guys? Right. My screenplay is violent, guys. Death of a child, guys. Will this shake your bones? Rattle your marrow? I'm not sure, kids.

There are big Hollywood releases with content faaaaaar beyond any of the worst things I think I've ever thought up. EXAMPLE!!!!

I have not seen it, but are y'all aware that in the Hollywood blockbuster (okay so that's being very generous) Seed of Chucky, the evil doll, Chucky, impregnates a woman by filling a turkey baster with his SEMEN (doll semen, I guess) and, well, I suppose the rest is self-explanatory.

This is so gross! Like I'm shocked someone thought of this and that such a film got advertised on network television! It's such a base concept! Who was the sick SOB that thought that was something cool to put in his movie?! Freakin' nutbag (ha, nutbag)! The majority of ideas I have are disturbing and offensive to the general public, I think. But one hopes there's a purpose behind such a thing, no? A silver subtext, ja? Why, yes! I've already talked about this in another entry before. Huh.

Anyway, Seed of Chucky is a nasty movie that (and I'll admit this is judging it without seeing it so maybe I am a jerk) has no real merit and they put in the semen basting. I mean, honestly now, what audience does that specific portion of the movie appeal to? And why do you need it? And did the person who wrote it even think "Man, this is a gross friggin' thing I'm writing here"???

And, now, a story.

This one time, a fat kid was rolling a wheel of cheese down the street when he up and got hit by a car. His head came off and landed in the cheese and with the last bit of life in that head (this can happen I think) he chowed down on the cheese and had himself quite the time. Then he vomited and died. It was nasty.

A cop on the crime scene came over later and said "This is a metaphor for American politics."

So, you see, my story has a point, clearly. So a vomiting fat kid's head on a wheel of cheese is totally justified. It is up to you to figure out the metaphor, assholes.

This is the worst thing I have ever written.

Rock out that awful taste in your mouth with this song.


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