Saturday, February 18, 2006

This is the Exploding Brain Story

This one time my brain exploded, swear to GOD. So I did what any sensible (LOL!) person with an exploded brain might do! I sent out invites to people to come and see it. The invites said on them “Come see my brain! The goddamn thing blew up, swear to GOD! RSVP UP IN THIS!” So a bunch of people RSVPed and crap and they all showed up right quick. In fact! I woke up in the morning, right? And I go outside and there are all these people curled up, sleeping on my stoop and I’m like “What the HELL are you doing?!” And they go “We’re here to see the explodah brain.” I’m like “What you here all early like this fo?!” And then I realized MY FOLLY!!!!! I never put a date or time on the invites, I just said show up so I was pretty screwed, you get me, guys? Yeah, sure you do. Oh, wait, no I didn’t explain.

Okay, so my grandma had my blown-up brain at the time because I told her about it and she was like “Oh the girls in the bridge club will get a royal kick out of that!” and I said “Fine, you can borrow it but I’m having a explodino brain party at an undisclosed time and date so I need it back soon.” She said “Oh, when’s the party?” I said “WHAT DOES UNDISCLOSED MEAN, BITCH?” and then I put a nickel in the “cursed at grandma” jar. Soon I will be able to buy a power mower.

Anyway, my grandma lives in Queens, right? And I live in Shurkasndnkl so it’s like NOOO WHAT I GONNA DO, GUYS!! I can’t disappoint these jerks I invited to see the brain what went blamma, m’et non?? So I go, “Oh, uh, it’s at Sizzler. Let’s all go to Sizzler.”

So I take them all to Sizzler, okay? And I tell them all to buy whatever they want and get some ish from the all-you-can-eat buffet because it is all on me and the exploded brain. So, they are eating and stuff and once in awhile one mumbles through some shrimp in their mouth, “WHERE DA BRAIN AT?!” And I go “Oh ahhhh, just eat some more, it will be here directly.”

So I go to the door at one point and they are all eating and they go “Where you goin’? Where da brain and we need to pay da bill?” I go “LATER, SUCKAZ!!” and bolt out that shit! I had to move to Long Island, however, to escape. So who is the real loser here, huh? :(:(:(:(:(((((((((

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