Sunday, February 26, 2006

OLD WOMAN NEEDS AN AMBULANCE!!!

I had a dream last night that struck me as pretty funny although I suppose it could be seen as a bit freaky as well. I am only documenting it here because it prominently featured an old woman so I think all of this recent discussion on my blog of old people influenced my BRAIN while I SLEPT.

So, I have a friend whose parents go on week-long vacations on a fairly frequent basis. When this happens, I often come hang out at his place and stay in his guest room. I also use the upstairs bathroom (his parents') during these periods so that I don't have to share a bathroom with him all week (because he is gross). Also, my friend plays this internet game online where he pretends he is at war and in an army and shoots people and he has a lot of online friends and he spends LOTS of time with this game and takes it verrrrry seriously. He also wears headphones that block out most other sound while he plays.

Anyway, in my dream the location kept jumping back and forth and mixing between his house, a house I used to live in in college, and the basement of my parent's house. Early in the dream, some odd discussion about "compressed marijuana" (something which I don't believe exists and if it does I have no clue as to what it might be) and how one might "uncompress" it occurred. Another friend of mine was looking it up on the "internet" and it apparently required the purchase of an expensive apparatus! Shame!

Now the important part is that while staying at my friend's house, an old, sort of chunky woman showed up and had a discussion with us. I don't think she was an old woman who I came in contact with in real life recently. I think she was invented in my head! She had pink pants and a sweater that I think was some sort of red. Now, apparently, we were expecting her arrival and to talk to her but then she walked away and we assumed she left the house.

However!! Later that same day (I guess it was that same day), I went upstairs to use the bathroom and the old woman was standing in the hallway outside. I said something to the effect of "Old Woman! What you do!?" and she responded with something nutty and confused. I think she was delusional and lost.

So I yelled to my friend that she was there and, I think because he was playing his internet game, he didn't hear me. Evidently, this issue was not important enough for me to further pursue so I forgot about the old woman.

Then this happened again! I went upstairs and she was still there and I said something and she said something else retarded.

The implication at this point was that days were passing. So, on the third day, I was in my friend's room and he was playing his internet game. He also had remenants of camouflage makeup on his face, as though he had put it on the night before but wiped most of it off.

"Why did you put on camouflage makeup?" I asked.

"Maybe it's to imply they (they meaning his internet army friends whom he's never met in real life) stayed over last night!" He replied somewhat challengingly.

"But...they didn't," I said.

"Well, not yet," he muttered as I walked out.

I went upstairs to use the bathroom and was slightly shocked (no really, it was a bit of a shock as I had evidently forgotten already) that the Old Woman was leaning up against the wall outside the bathroom. She wasn't noticeably hurt but the impression I got was that she could not move.

"Old woman!" I said.

"OLD WOMAN NEEDS AN AMBULANCE!!!" she shouted in response.

Then I woke up.

In retrospect, I think it is hilarious.

THE END!!!!!!!!!

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